- Louise van Der Velde, 43, a widow and mother of two says she is proud of the affairs she has conducted with over 80 married men since her husband died 14 years ago
- Calling herself a relationship expert, she believes she has a unique insight into why people have affairs and why traditional marriage counselling isn’t effective in saving relationships
- She has attracted a lot of criticism for her opinion that wives are ultimately responsible for their husband’s infidelity
What would you think of a woman who says she is proud to have bedded dozens of married men? Would you judge her harshly, or think it really isn’t any of your affair, if you’ll excuse the pun?
Louise Van Der Velde, a 43 year old mother of two who lost her doctor husband, Stephen, when he died suddenly, aged just 34.
Briefly.co.za gathers that shortly before his death the couple had began to have an open relationship. “We decided to embark on an open relationship in the last few years before he died. I have carried on the same way ever since. His death made me realise you have to seize the day and make the most of every day,” said Louise.
For many, the norms of monogamy have made infidelity a touchy subject. Marriage is traditionally considered to be “till death do you part” at least in theory, although often that isn’t how things end up working out, as many couples, and divorce attorneys can well attest.
Many people would put finding out that their spouse has cheated on them as one of the most devastating things that could happen in a relationship.
Louise who proudly admits she has conducted affairs with multiple lovers since her husband’s death back in 2004 and has no plans of stopping. She now considers herself somewhat of an expert on relationships and believes she has figured out why people have affairs in the first place, and therefore could offer helpful advice to couples as well as having a unique understanding why traditional relationship counselling doesn’t work.
“Traditional marriage counselling often fails because it is based on a model which has not been not reformed for 150 years. All this “till death do us part” nonsense assumes monogamy works for everyone. This is not realistic and not in line with human nature. In order for love and passion to re-enter a marriage, there are other ways.”
Louise has bent more than a few perfectly sculpted noses out of shape with her theory that wives are to blame for their husbands affairs. “Lots of wives only have themselves to blame when their husbands cheats. They lose interest and effectively abandon them in the bedroom,” she said explaining that instead of concentrating on their husband’s needs they put all their effort into their children and running things domestically and they devote no attention to their marriage. “It’s no wonder so many men cheat,” she concludes, although she does admit it can work the other way too: “Obviously men can go off it too – and I don’t blame their female partners for cheating either.”
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