South African Man Opens Up After Divorce: "Men Do Suffer From Depression"

Tuesday, April 13, 2021 at 2:48 PM by Phumzile Ngcatshe

- The South African social media user known as Oupa Pilane says he lost his job, house and got divorced and he has warned men about depression

- Based in Mpumalanga, Oupa Pilane says men should consider getting help and must know they are not alone in poor mental health

- Working in the tourism sector, Oupa Pilane says he hopes to document his struggles and help some men suffering from depression

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Described as an ordinary man from the Mpumalanga province, Oupa Pilane has opened up a discussion on depression amongst men and how they can deal with it effectively, improving their lives in the process.

Pilane says men can also become victims of depression and explains how he lost money through an investment that went wrong.

According to the man’s bio on Twitter, Pilane is based in Mbombela and is a tourism consultant. At the same time, he says he is not sharing his story to attract sympathisers.

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“Men do suffer from depression. I resigned from my government job of 15 yaers, invested pension money in four businesses that failed, got divorced after a 20-year relationship. And that triggered my depression that was traced back to my childhood. I do relapse and I still attend therapy.

“I take full responsibility for everything that went wrong in my marriage, in defence of the mother of my children, she was a loving, kind woman and continues to be. I did everything to [mess] up my marriage. She just couldn’t take it any more and I would be in her shoes [sic], I would have left too.”

The Mzansi social media user added that he would like to document his journey in the fight against depression as he wants to help others.

South Africa's Oupa Pilane opens up going through a divorce and educates men about depression. Image: Twitter
Source: Twitter

After receiving supportive words from his followers, Pilane has taken time out to thank those who encouraged him. He added:

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“I hope one day God will give me strength to document my story about dealing with anxiety and depression to help other men who are going through similar experiences. Thank you so much for all your kind words and also those that were unkind. I am in a good space now.

“We need to continue with this conversation, it will help with confronting and removing the stigma around mental health. Going back to work now.

“Men often have no support systems in our communities as they are expected to be strong. We are told that 'tigers don’t cry'. As men we are considered weak and unattractive if we are broke and cry. Men are human too, they have feelings.

“My dear brothers, times are hard, I just want to assure you that you are not alone, please do go seek help before it’s too late. Depression does affect men too. Hope my story will help in saving a life.”