“I Don’t Pay”: SA Woman Married to Nigerian Man Shares 5 Rules That Keep Their Marriage Strong
- A South African woman living in the USA went viral on TikTok after sharing the unspoken rules that guide her marriage to her Nigerian husband
- @nonzwakazie listed five principles the couple lives by, including never paying bills and always ending calls with "I love you"
- South Africans flooded the comments with their own thoughts on love, gender roles, and what they wish for in a relationship
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Source: TikTok
A South African woman based in the United States sparked a lively conversation online after posting a TikTok video about the unwritten rules she and her Nigerian husband live by. The clip, shared on 19 September 2026 by lifestyle creator @nonzwakazie, was filmed inside a moving car and quickly racked up hundreds of comments.
Nzwakazi, who describes herself on TikTok as a "Yoruba wife" and mother based in the US, spoke directly to the camera in a warm, candid tone. She laid out five principles that quietly hold her marriage together.
The rules that run their home
At the top of her list: she does not pay any household bills, and if she ever spends her own money on the home, her husband refunds her. She also does not fuel cars or handle electronics. Those, she said, are entirely her husband's responsibility.
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Beyond finances, the couple has a firm rule around communication. They always end phone calls with "I love you" when they are apart, and they share their locations with each other at all times. Rounding out her list were two principles that she described as the foundation of everything: no cursing at each other, and mutual respect above all else. "It's a given," she said of them having respect for one another.
Watch the video that got Mzansi talking:
Mzansi weighs in
The video on the TikTok page drew nearly 1,000 comments, with South Africans leading the conversation. Many shared what they personally wished for in their own relationships, while others were more sceptical.
@ayandalerato wrote:
"Good because, once you pay your own bills personally, I don't see a need for a man."
@Lilloh said:
"What people don't know is Nigerian men are family men if he has you as a wife... you go enjoy. God bless my Igbo man."
@stop nonsonso shared:
"Deep down we all wish this as women. I'm happy for you, stranger. Mine is so condescending when mad."
@nkosazanamtambo joked:
"South African men are going through it. Nigeria, South Africa."
@Lethabo pushed back:
"'I don't pay any bills.' It gets to a point. In marriage, we help each other in everything."
@Unathi K observed:
"You guys are bitter in these comments. Yhu."
@babani661 admitted:
"This marriage business is like prison. I'm sorry it's not for me!"
Whether viewers agreed or not, Nzwakazi's post struck a clear nerve, opening up a broader conversation about what people truly want from their partners and what modern marriage looks like across cultures.
More on Nigerians and relationships
- Briefly News recently reported that a Nigerian man in KZN admitted to entering South Africa through Lesotho, dividing opinions among citizens.
- Nigeria confirmed its first Ebola case after a woman travelled from Uganda, with health authorities tracing 44 contacts.
- A Nigerian woman in the UK pleaded for help after her husband withdrew his visa sponsorship, leaving her facing a 60-day deadline.
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Source: Briefly News
