"Should I Divorce Him?": Woman Marries Man Who Got 2 Women Pregnant and Made Her Take Out Loans
- An African woman on TikTok shared a story about her husband who cheated on her multiple times
- Despite this, she took out loans for him and was left financially burdened when he refused to pay her back
- Life Coach, Penny Holburn spoke to Briefly News about why women struggle to leave problematic relationships
- The internet was critical of her decision to stay in the relationship and offered advice to leave the husband
A woman's complicated and toxic marriage left frustrated many netizens after sharing her story online.
Woman shares how husband cheated and made her take out loans
In a now-viral TikTok post, @mrs_vheey opened up about how she married a man who had cheated on her during their eight-year relationship and got two women pregnant.
@mrs_vheey only learned about the man's first son when the child was four years old. She stayed in the relationship, and a month before their wedding, she learned that her man had impregnated another woman, while @mrs_vheey was already four months pregnant at the time.
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@mrs_vheey also revealed that she didn't live with her man. As a healthcare worker who lived at her work post, she'd only visit her man occasionally.
She disclosed further details about their relationship and how the second baby mama agreed to co-parent with her husband. After their wedding, @mrs_vheey agreed to take a loan for her husband upon his request and promised he'd repay her over four years.
However, the man did not keep his word. He refused to make payments and even started neglecting @mrs_vheey and their daughter. As turbulent and strained as the relationship was, the man managed to convince @mrs_vheey to take out a second loan for him, and she obliged as she felt compelled to support him.
"He refused to pay that, too, and now, when my salary is paid, I get sad because not much of it is left for me to use to take care of myself and my daughter. My child is almost three years old now. He (the husband) hardly calls to check on us," shared @mrs_vheey who sought advice online on whether to divorce her husband or not.
Click here to view the post.
Life coach shares marriage advice
Life, Career and Business Coach, Penny Holburn spoke to Briefly News about the difficulty of leaving an unhealthy relationship.
"Our brains like the familiar. For this reason most of us battle with change. A woman may stay with an abusive/toxic man because this is all she knows.
"She may have never experienced a man behaving in any other way and thinks this is just how relationships are.
"She may be terrified to leave because of threats – threats to either harm her, the child, the rest of her family or friends, and even threats to take the child away from her," Penny explained.
Penny also touched on the possibilities of religious reasons and/or having poor self-esteem or feelings of worthlessness when a woman is "stuck" in a relationship.
Mzansi shares their opinions
The video was met with witty comments and criticism from netizens who were disappointed with the woman's decision to stay with an unfaithful man who further sabotaged her financially and refused to care for her and her daughter.
deebongz_phewa commented:
"I swear nursing school kune semester yobudomu nokundla amadoda (I swear at nursing school there's a semester on stupidity and maintaining a man)."
ungqongqoshemfiso shared advice:
"Sell the house, pay the loans, and then divorce."
Quninia shared her opinion:
"Once the lady told you she was pregnant and they were together for 8 years as well, that was your queue to leave him."
Yonwaba V teased the woman for taking loans for her husband:
"No, don’t divorce him mthathele enye iloan ❤️ (take another loan for him)."
taa was in disbelief:
"Not the second loan ."
Dewayne Strickland replied:
"I wouldn't have told anyone this ."
Man cheats on wife 6 weeks after giving birth
In another story, Briefly News reported that an arrogant man blamed his wife for his cheating scandal.
The wife recorded her argument with her husband, and it was posted on TikTok for people to judge.
A married couple had a huge obstacle to overcome when the husband cheated on his wife six weeks after she gave birth. The man claimed that since having the baby, his wife had neglected his needs.
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Source: Briefly News
Nothando Mthembu (Senior editor) Nothando Mthembu is a senior multimedia journalist and editor. Nothando has over 5 years of work experience and has served several media houses including Caxton Local Newspapers. She has experience writing on human interest, environment, crime and social issues for community newspapers. She holds a Bachelor’s Degree and an Honours Degree in Media Studies from the University of KwaZulu-Natal, obtained in 2016 and 2017. Nothando has also passed a set of trainings by Google News Initiative. Email: nothando.mthembu@briefly.co.za
Penny Holburn (Founder of Penny Holburn Coaching) Penny Holburn is a life, career and business coach running her own coaching business since 2010. She has spent 20 years as a consultant in psychological assessment, organisational development, personal and business change, leadership development, coaching and counselling. Penny has majors in psychology and industrial psychology and an MSc Cum Laude in psychology and has completed a Senior Management Development Programme through Wits Business School.