South African Widow Turns Grief Into A Community of Support

This Durban support group started with six members and now runs daily check-ins, monthly gatherings and an annual celebration for nearly 300 widows, volunteers and children.

For widows and their children, the year-end festivities can unwittingly sharpen feelings of loneliness at a time of year built around togetherness. Zanele Elane Ngubane knows that feeling well. It is why she started the Mesuliwezinyembezi Support Group in Durban and why every December, she throws a party.

In early December 2025, the group held its annual Family Fun Day, bringing together 53 widows and 225 children for a day of games and outdoor activities. The event, organized by volunteers, included relay races and team games. Younger children were given party packs with toys and snacks, while teenagers received gift bags with snacks and toiletries. Grocery hampers were also given to some families.

The 42-year-old finance officer, who has two young children, started the group in August 2022, a year after her husband's sudden death. The support she received from family, friends and other widows helped her through her grief. It also opened her eyes to others who lacked such networks.

“I started the support group as my way of paying it forward,” she said.

A community built on mutual support

She named it Mesuliwezinyembezi, which is a Zulu word meaning "the one who wipes tears." Many members of the group have lost husbands who were sole breadwinners, and some have little family or financial support. The children in the group’s care often come from households with limited means.

From an initial six members, the group has grown into an active community of nearly 300 members, volunteers and children. In addition to the December event, it runs daily WhatsApp check-ins and monthly gatherings at members' homes for connection and mutual support. Funding comes largely from donations and member contributions, making careful budgeting essential, said Zanele.

Getting ready for the big day

Planning the event means coordinating volunteers, sourcing supplies across multiple locations and assembling gifts and hampers. In previous years, outdoor game equipment also had to be rented.

This year, Zanele ordered some supplies and equipment from Temu, including sacks for the sack race, rope for tug-of-war and hopping balls, using a R2,000 (about US$120) platform voucher. She won the coupon through a community campaign on “1 Family 1 Stockpile”, a personal finance Facebook group.

"I didn't have to run around comparing prices. It saved me petrol, time and money," she said.

According to a News24 survey, 46% of South African shoppers save more than half of their budget by using Temu, with nearly 40% shopping on the platform at least once a month.

Medals and team spirit

On the day of the event, children were divided into teams and competed in various events through the afternoon. Zanele said the moment that stayed with her was the medal ceremony. "When we handed them medals, it gave them so much confidence and motivated them to participate in more activities.”

Zanele said many attendees are already asking about next year's Family Fun Day. For future events, the group hopes to add educational toys for children and monthly hygiene packs for teenagers.

"These events give our members a sense of belonging and a sense that they have a loving family they can rely on," Zanele said. "There's a spirit of togetherness, and we are stronger together.”

Source: Briefly News