Lady’s Chat With Aunt About Female Hyper Independence and Men Who Don't Provide in Marriages Sparks Debate

Lady’s Chat With Aunt About Female Hyper Independence and Men Who Don't Provide in Marriages Sparks Debate

  • A lady took to social media to share some insight she gained from having a conversation about hyper-independence in marriage
  • The aunt shared that her independence relieved her husband of his duty to care for and provide for his family
  • She also revealed that this came from being failed by her own father and advised women not to cover up for their husband’s shortcomings

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A young lady’s unfiltered conversation with her aunt about the reality of marriage painted a less than beautiful picture of how independence can affect the role of the wife and husband behind closed doors.

Twitter user @Rivoningo_C shared a tweet about what she gained from the eye-opening conversation when she had asked her aunt whether, in retrospect, she feels that her hyper-independence relieved her husband of his duty to care and provide for his family.

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Lady, Chat With Aunt, Hyper-independence, Men Who Don't Provide, Marriage
Saffas gained an insight into the less than rosey reality of unbalanced roles in some marriages. Image:@Rivoningo_C, Stock Image/GettyImages
Source: Twitter
“She said yes. She said that in their 10+ years together, he’d never given her money to do anything for herself or the home. She instead paid the rent, bought the furniture, ensured that the fridge was full, maintained herself, and still performed domestic duties in the home,” @Rivoningo_C wrote.

The young lady also disclosed that her aunt said that her hyper-independence doesn’t come from nowhere.

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“She was failed by her own father and had to help take care of her family, and is now being failed by her husband and the men around him who, in an ideal world, should be reprimanding him for his behaviour.”

When asked what she would’ve done differently, the aunt said she would’ve stopped hoping for him to change and left while she had the chance.

The aunt’s closing advice was:

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“Don’t cover up for him. Present him as he is. We cover up the shortcomings of the men in our lives and when they turn on us, no one believes it because we’ve been covering up for them”

The niece was grateful for her aunt’s honesty and openness, and so were many online netizens who gained a better understanding of the issue of hyper-independence in relationships. Others, however, did have additional views which they were more than glad to vocalise in response to the tweet:

@nokhwe14 said:

“I had a colleague who had a car problem, I asked why her husband isn't helping. She simply replied "because he knows I'll take care of it" I was shocked. She explained she takes care of everything, he never does anything because he knows she will... I was so heartbroken for her.”

@MpumeGumbi95 replied:

“So many women are actually living like this in marriage. It's strange because the predominant narrative is that women marry for money. Yet most of the married women I know I literally the breadwinners.”

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@michelle_mystiq commented:

“Women SHOULD marry for money. Only black women are vilified for actively pursuing men who have their shit together financially. Women of other races have always done this and continue to do this for the betterment of future generations.”

Woman looks into having more children with baby daddy despite no longer being together

In another story, Briefly News reported that a woman left social media users baffled after sharing her friend’s uncommon relationship scenario.

Thembisile Q (@Thembisile_Q) shared a tweet revealing how her friend who has an 8-year-old with her baby daddy, was considering having another child with him, although they aren’t in a relationship together.

She wrote:

“My friend and her ex have an 8-year-old and are co-parenting successfully. Now they wanna have more kids but don’t want their daughter to have step-siblings. They’re contemplating having another kid together even though they aren’t together anymore. What do you think of this?”

Source: Briefly News

Authors:
Nothando Mthembu avatar

Nothando Mthembu (Senior editor) Nothando Mthembu is a senior multimedia journalist and editor. Nothando has over 5 years of work experience and has served several media houses including Caxton Local Newspapers. She has experience writing on human interest, environment, crime and social issues for community newspapers. She holds a Bachelor’s Degree and an Honours Degree in Media Studies from the University of KwaZulu-Natal, obtained in 2016 and 2017. Nothando has also passed a set of trainings by Google News Initiative. Email: nothando.mthembu@briefly.co.za