“I Walked Out Alive – So Can You”: Young Mother Breaks the Silence on Abuse for Youth Month

The NSM is a non-profit organisation established in 2008 at a national conference on shelters. The Nisaa Institute for Women’s Development serves as its secretariat. Its membership currently consists of 78 shelters spread across all nine provinces of South Africa.

This Youth Month, the National Shelter Movement of South Africa (NSMSA) is shining a spotlight on the resilience of young women who are surviving and rising beyond gender-based violence. One such voice is Ayanda Mkhize, a 27-year-old mother who has turned her personal trauma into a mission of awareness and hope.

Abusive relationship

Ayanda, who fell into an abusive relationship in her early twenties, shares a harrowing yet powerful story of how control and violence can quietly take root in the lives of young women – and how escape can feel impossible without support. She speaks of love that quickly turned to control, and emotional manipulation that escalated into severe physical violence. She also speaks of the immense courage it took to leave, especially with a child in her arms.

“I stayed because I thought things would change, because I believed the apologies, because I didn’t have anywhere else to go. But eventually, I had to choose between getting out – or losing myself completely, maybe even losing my life,” she says.

Human dignity

Ayanda’s journey out of abuse was made possible, in part, by the support she received from those working tirelessly on the frontlines of the GBV and femicide crisis – South Africa’s network of shelters. For many young women, especially those who are mothers, these spaces are not just places of temporary refuge. They are lifelines that provide the emotional safety, legal support, and human dignity needed to start again.

Anisa Moosa, National Coordinator of NSMSA, says Ayanda’s voice is one that reflects the reality of far too many young women across the country.

“She is part of a generation that is often praised for its potential but are too often left unprotected. Shelters across South Africa are picking up the pieces after the violence has already taken hold.

They are doing life-saving work, usually with too little funding, inconsistent government support, and increasing demand. These are not just buildings – they are places where the healing begins,” says Moosa.

Moosa stresses that more meaningful support for shelters is critical if South Africa is serious about tackling GBV and femicide. Beyond awareness, she says, there must be sustained political and financial commitment to ensure that no woman, young or old, is ever left with nowhere to go.

“Youth Month is about remembering the power of young people to change history. Ayanda is doing exactly that – not just by surviving, but by speaking. And now we must meet her courage with action.”

NSMSA is calling on the media, youth organisations, funders, and the public to share Ayanda’s story, support shelters in their communities, and use this Youth Month as a moment to challenge the silence and stigma that still surrounds domestic violence, particularly among the youth.

Ayanda’s words remain the heart of her message:

“I walked out alive – so can you. And you are never too young (or too old) to reclaim your life.”

Contact the National Shelter GBV Helpline by calling 0800 001 005, or send an SMS, WhatsApp or Please Call Me to 082 057 8600 / 082 058 2215 / 072 230 7147, or send an email to infohelpline@nationalsm.org.za.

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Please note: “Ayanda Mkhize” is a pseudonym used to protect the survivor’s identity.

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Source: Briefly News