“I'm Shattered”: Husband Wants Divorce, Wife Clings To Hope of Rekindled Love

“I'm Shattered”: Husband Wants Divorce, Wife Clings To Hope of Rekindled Love

  • A troubled woman sought advice from an expert regarding her marriage that's on the brink of collapse
  • The lady's husband is not interested in the relationship anymore but wants to wait until their son goes to college
  • Relationship expert Penny Holburn said they could use this time that they are pretending to be together to actually bring the spark back in their marriage
Anonymous wrote: "I am heartbroken. I have been married 20 years to the love of my life but things have not been great between us for a while. Between work and raising our son, we didn't put any effort into our marriage and the fire died down.
"My husband now wants a divorce and to add insult to injury, he is willing to 'pretend' until our son graduates high school. I am shattered. I was hoping we could focus on us when my son goes to university and I do not want a divorce. What can I do?"

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A woman sought help after her husband of 20 years wanted to end their relationship.
A woman is hurt after her husband wants to end their 20-year marriage. Image: @d3sign
Source: Getty Images

Expert advises the couple to have a heart-to-heart conversation

Penny Holburn is an experienced coach specialising in life, career, and business coaching. She has been successfully running her own coaching business, Penny Holburn Life Coaching, since 2010.

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Speaking to Briefly News, relationship expert Penny Holburn said that the wife should sit down with her husband and tell him that she doesn't want a divorce but rather to work on their marriage.

"Tell him why you married him and why you want the marriage to work. Tell him you are committed to making the marriage work and putting in the effort required. It may be difficult but you need to be completely honest with him about how you feel and what you want. Then let him talk and ask him why he wants the divorce.

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"Ask him if he believes the marriage cannot be saved. Ask him why he believes the marriage cannot be saved. You also want to understand what he is thinking and feeling."

Pretending to be together can be hard but can be used as an opportunity

Penny said the duo could use this time they are pretending to be together until their son goes to college to work to mend their relationship.

"Pretending you are together while knowing he wants a divorce is hard. If you are willing to go along with this, then you could use this time to work on your marriage and see if you can rekindle the spark. But don't self-sacrifice yourself in this process."

If all fails, woman has to accept the end of the 20-year marriage

The expert concluded by saying that if the marriage cannot be saved, then the woman will have to accept it. She cannot make someone do something they don't want to do.

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Disclaimer: Advice given in this article is general and is not the views of Briefly News. It is not intended to influence a reader's decisions. Readers are advised to seek professional help before making any decisions.

Do you have a story to tell? Want an expert's advice? Please email us at contact@briefly.co.za with 'Ask an expert' in the subject line.

Middle child feels unseen by their parents

In a previous story, Briefly News wrote about a child who felt like a black sheep in his family. He said he feels like his parents favour his siblings over him.

Certified relationship therapy educator Paula Quinsee advised the gent to address the issue with his parents in a smooth manner.

Source: Briefly News

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