What to say to someone who is dying? The dos and don’ts

What to say to someone who is dying? The dos and don’ts

A sudden death can prevent you from saying the important things to your loved ones. This may leave you with lifelong regrets and what-ifs. But if you are given the gift of being in a loved one’s final moments, you must tell them what is in your heart. However, finding the right words to say at such a time may be challenging. This article highlights what to say to someone who is dying to help make a difficult time comforting and meaningful.

What to say to someone who is dying
A burning candle (L). A patient in hospice care (R). Photo: Alejandro Morales Lozano, LPettet via Getty Images (modified by author)
Source: UGC

TABLE OF CONTENTS

Being there for a dying loved one can make a world of difference to them. It reflects your love and care and gives them the strength to face what lies ahead.

But before you talk to such a person, make sure to do so with compassion, kindness, and words that will not just add to the injury.

What to say to someone who is dying?

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Most times, someone dying may find solace in you being there for them and appreciate knowing friends and family are thinking of them. But in case you have a conversation with them, here are some things to say to someone dying to make them feel special in their last moments.

I love you

Everyone deserves to hear these three words in their dying beds, but so often, we may go on without sharing them. Remember when you last said this to your loved one, and repeat it no matter how long ago. If ever there was a time to do so, it is now.

Please forgive me

Asking for forgiveness can be overwhelming. But if you know your loved one holds a grudge against you, it is essential to make things right. This will allow you to continue your life while they conclude theirs at peace.

I forgive you

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Forgiving a loved one during their final moments is offering them a gift you have let them go without hard feelings. It also helps you set your mind and heart free.

Funeral ceremony
A female hand on a coffin during a funeral ceremony. Photo: SeventyFour
Source: UGC

Thank you

Expressing gratitude to a loved one during this time will help them feel like they did something good. This word may carry greater weight than you may think in making your loved one feel valued.

I will miss you

Let your loved one know you will forever miss them and cherish the moments you shared. Tell them how your life with them has been and what lessons you have learnt from them.

What to say to someone who is dying of cancer?

To start a conversation with such a patient, use words like, ‘’I know this is very difficult, but maybe it would help if we talked about how we feel and what the future may bring.’' Next, encourage them to engage in a conversation by asking the following questions:

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  • How are you feeling?
  • Is there anything that is worrying you the most?
  • Is there something you want to talk about?
  • You must be feeling a lot of emotions at the moment.
  • Is there something that helps you feel calm?

Avoid offering too much advice or saying things like, I have felt like that before.

A doctor taking care of her patient
A doctor using a digital tablet while caring for her senior patient. Photo: Marco
Source: UGC

What not to say to someone who is dying?

Sometimes, however well-intended, your words can backfire and cause more harm than good. Below are some things you should avoid saying to someone during their last moments.

You are so brave

Do not let your loved one know you are proud of their bravery because, most times, they are afraid. Allowing them to be vulnerable makes it easier for them to express their feelings.

I know what it is like

Comparing your experience with someone going through their darkest moments is inappropriate. Instead, ask the person what they need and be there for them without necessarily making it about you.

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God does not give us more than we can handle

Such words may invoke religious ideas around pain and suffering for the person. It may make them question their faith and be bitter and angry at God for being in such a predicament.

You are going to a better place

These words may be insensitive, considering that if the person had a choice, they would want to spend more time with their loved ones. Try giving them a chance to talk instead if they can.

How to deal with a dying parent?

There are many ways you can help take care of your dying parent. They include:

  • Talk to your parent about how you both feel, and do not assume that you need to be strong for their sake. Exercise empathy while you are at it.
  • Consider hospice care for your loved one, especially if they are facing a terminal illness. This end-of-life care will help relieve pain and suffering while attending to the patient’s emotional and spiritual needs.
  • Sometimes, dying patients feel anxious and depressed. Maintain a physical closeness with them through holding hands to help encourage and relax them.
  • Even if you are not your parent’s primary caregiver, be there for them and spend as much time as you can together. Although it may hurt to see what they are going through, do not ignore or refuse to visit them.
  • Let them know their impact on your life while you reminisce on the good times. This will give your parent a feeling of fulfilment as they reflect on their life’s achievements.

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What words comfort a dying person?

A man holding his loved one's hands
A man holding his loved one's hands in a hospital bed. Photo: Ljubaphoto
Source: UGC

Wondering what to say to someone who is dying soon? Here are some comforting words for a terminal illness.

  • I am here for you always
  • I love and care about you very much
  • You have done so much to be proud of
  • You are special
  • I am here to listen to you

What to say to someone who is dying does not need to be formal. Show your support and love after you have said what has to be said. Speak from the depths of your soul and trust your intuition. Be guided by the love you have for one another.

DISCLAIMER: This article is intended for general informational purposes only and does not address individual circumstances. It is not a substitute for professional advice or help and should not be relied on to make decisions of any kind. Any action you take based on the information presented in this article is strictly at your own risk and responsibility!

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The beauty of African proverbs is that languages differ, but people realize they mean the same thing once they are translated into a common language like English.

Source: Briefly News

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