“There’s a Catch”: Nigerian Man Allegedly Willing to Pay R1m Lobola for SA Woman, Notes 3 Conditions

• According to an online post, a media personality from Nigeria, Akponofuo Kelvis, allegedly shared he was willing to pay R1 million for lobola
• Akponofuo allegedly stated that the woman has to be from South Africa and provided three conditions for his future wife
• Some internet users took an interest in the man, while others wondered about his controversial requests
• Certified Imago Relationship Therapy Educator Paula Quinsee explained to Briefly News how couples can ensure they are mutually beneficial and not controlled when conditions are put in place

While it is normal for people to share what they look for in a future partner, there will be times when their standards will come into question. This seemed to be the case when a Nigerian man looking for a Mzansi lover shared what his future partner needed to be and have.

Looking for love in SA

According to a post on the online publication Maphepha Ndaba's Instagram page, lovestruck Nigerian media personality Akponofuo Kelvis allegedly shared that he was willing to pay R1 million in cash and 30 cows for lobola. However, the woman had to be from South Africa, as they were "the best in the world."

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"But, there's a catch," warned Maphepha Ndaba.

Akponofuo, who is reportedly ready to settle down and stated he was a father on his Instagram account, allegedly noted that the Mzansi woman of his dreams had to have abstained from sexual relations throughout her life, have no Brazilian butt lift (commonly referred to as a BBL), and have no cosmetic surgery.

"The man is now willing to do several tests to check."

Take a look at the Instagram post here.

Avoiding control with marital conditions

Paula Quinsee, the founder of Engaged Humans, noted that when a partner sets conditions in their relationship for marriage, it can harm the relationship and lead to manipulation and controlling behaviour.

The certified Imago Relationship Therapy Educator told Briefly News:

"It's important for both parties to have open, honest, and respectful communication to ensure the conditions being requested are mutually beneficial and not controlling."

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Paula shared that it could be done through the following:

1. Open communication: Both partners should discuss the conditions clearly and openly. If a partner feels uncomfortable with a condition, it should be discussed constructively without fear of judgment, retaliation, or manipulation.
2. Mutual respect: The conditions should be about respecting each other's values, needs, and goals for the relationship. Partners should have the freedom to express their desires and limits without pressure.
3. Reciprocity: The proposed conditions should be balanced and fair towards both partners, who should be able to set conditions.
4. Shared vision: Conditions should align with both partners' shared vision for their future and not be a one-sided view.
5. Flexibility: Relationships evolve, so the conditions must be reviewed to determine whether they are still relevant. This helps to ensure both partners' needs are taken into account with the changing needs of the relationship.
6. Underlying motives: Partners should explore the reasoning behind the conditions as it can highlight whether the conditions are truly about a partnership or control.
7. Relationship dynamics: Decisions about marriage should be made together, and both partners should have an equal say in the conditions and vision of their relationship. This ensures that there are equal power dynamics, ensure the relationship is balanced, and that nobody feels dominated.

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Nigerian man sparks mixed responses

While some members of the online community headed to the post's comment section with interest, laughter, and jokes, a few other app users found the man's alleged requests and conditions to be ridiculous and assumed it was for a ritual.

@siwie_sibiya shared with the online community:

"These people bore me thinking we’re just objects that you can just give money and take home. How rude!"

@mbali_makobe2 was stunned and claimed:

"It is all about citizenship, or juju. The man said to bring a v*rgin. 😮"

@labamba_lonela, who found humour in the post, stated to the bachelor with a laugh:

"Marry me."

@micki_mabote, who correctly assumed the man already had a mini-me, wondered:

"Why can't he marry the mother of his child?"

Not impressed with Akponofuos' requests for a bride, @_bhalia added in the comments:

"He wants so many things, this one. Why specifically a v*rgin?"

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@phindile_sono filled their comment with heart emojis and stated:

"I already love him."

@nita_mbatha shared their thoughts, writing:

"Why leave your home country women and want a South African wife? What's stopping him from marrying where he comes from?"

@zanele.zaza.330 added:

"This one money drives him crazy. Go and invest that R1 million in Nigeria and buy kids' food."

What determines lobola amounts in South Africa

There is no fixed price for lobola in South Africa. However, according to Mail & Guardian, a common lobola amount can range from R10,000 to R100,000 with an average reported around R61,540.

This varies depending on factors like cultural traditions, the bride's education level, and the families' financial situation; there is no fixed price for lobola.

Traditionally, lobola shows that the groom can support a family and is a gesture of gratitude to the bride’s family for raising her. The lobola ceremony involves formal negotiations for both families to agree on a fair price.

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5 Other stories about lobola

• In another article, Briefly News reported about a content creator who shared a captivating video detailing her step-by-step preparations for her upcoming lobola negotiations.
• At first unaware of the customs, a man from the United Kingdom shared the three stages of his lobola-paying experience with his Zambian in-laws.
• South African internet users adored a local man getting down on one knee and surprising his bride-to-be with gifts on lobola day.
• A TikTokker proudly shared with social media users the lobola amount that was paid for her hand in marriage.
• A lady proudly shared her dreamy lobola proceedings in a viral TikTok, gushing over how her boyfriend stayed true to his promise to marry her.

Source: Briefly News