“I Say No It’s Our Property”: American Questions SA Domestic Worker’s Sleepover Request in Cape Town

• An American man who recently bought a house in Cape Town asked Reddit users for advice about his domestic worker
• The husband refuses to agree to her request, but his wife believes their worker should have personal freedom
• South Africans offered mixed responses about safety concerns and workers' rights

An American homeowner has sparked debate on social media after asking for advice about whether to allow his domestic worker's boyfriend to sleep over at their Cape Town property.

The man, posting under the Reddit username @Open-Ad76 on the AskSouthAfrica subreddit, explained that he and his wife disagreed about the arrangement.

The American wrote:

"Hi all, I'm an American who just bought a house in Cape Town and don't know the local customs. I am trying to understand what the common traditions are for live-in workers. We have a housekeeper who lives on the property as part of her compensation. Now she wants to have her boyfriend for a sleepover night. I say no, it's our property and I don't want strangers, but my wife says yes and she can do what she wants in her living space."

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The homeowner's hesitation comes from not knowing the boyfriend and concerns about allowing strangers onto the property. His wife supports the domestic worker's request, believing she should have personal freedom in her allocated living space. The man admits he's unfamiliar with South African customs and doesn't want to cause problems in his new country.

Reddit users share advice

The post attracted various responses from South Africans offering different perspectives on the situation.

@coffeeislife_SA suggested:

"I don't think there is a universal rule on this. Honestly, go with what you feel is right. If you trust your helper, and you've met her partner, perhaps it's fine? Is your house secure enough that even if the partner had something nefarious in mind, nothing could come of it?"

@shield543 took a human rights approach:

"Either offer them accommodation with all the personal freedoms that a human being should expect to be able to have as a right, or don't offer them accommodation."

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@guymclarenza warned about legal issues:

"If he doesn't pay rent and have a lease, you are inviting trouble. Speak to a lawyer about this."

@rbnkay002 questioned the arrangement:

"You say that the accommodation is part of her compensation. If you rather paid her x amount more, and received x amount as rental from someone else, surely that tenant would be allowed visitors?"

@AutomaticSlide2841 advised caution:

"Don't be naive. Say no. It's not her husband."

@Old-Access-1713 shared a warning:

"Talk to a lawyer. Had a similar case where the occupant refused to leave and moved in. Endless trouble to get him out."

Crime statistics fuel concerns

According to NationMaster, South Africa has significantly higher crime rates than the United States in several categories. The country ranks 6th globally for crime levels with a score of 86.27, compared to America's 55.84. South Africa's murder rate stands at 34 per 100,000 people, seven times higher than the US rate of 5. The rape rate is also concerning, with South Africa ranking first globally at 132.4 per 100,000 people, five times higher than the US rate of 27.3.

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These statistics help explain why many South Africans take security seriously when considering who to allow on their properties, especially in major cities like Cape Town.

View the post here.

3 Other stories about domestic workers

• Briefly News recently reported on a homeowner who confronted their domestic worker about eating too much food, but the worker's surprising response had people questioning who was really in the wrong.
• A grown Afrikaner man's emotional reunion with his childhood domestic worker melted hearts, but the reason they hadn't seen each other in so long surprised many viewers.
• A domestic worker received unexpected birthday gifts from her employers that brought her to tears, but what made the gesture so special wasn't just the presents themselves.

Updated by Hilary Sekgota, Human Interest HOD at Briefly News.

Source: Briefly News