“I Cook and Clean but They All Cheat”: Woman Cheated On in 5 Relationships, Expert Discusses Healing

“I Cook and Clean but They All Cheat”: Woman Cheated On in 5 Relationships, Expert Discusses Healing

  • A young woman shared her harrowing experiences after she started dating and trying to find love
  • The heartbroken lady explained her traumatic experience of getting into doomed relationships
  • Author of Uncomplicated Love, Shelley Lewin, spoke to Briefly News about the best way to navigate cheating and recover from it
Anonymous wrote: "I am 20 years old and I started dating when I was 18 years old. Since then, I have been in five relationships, but they all ended the same way. Even though I am an attentive partner, I cook, clean and always look good, they all cheat.
"Every man who was in a relationship with me betrayed me, and after the second one, I started to feel like I was the problem. The fifth man who was unfaithful destroyed me because I did not see it coming, thinking he's the one. I am convinced it has to be me. What can I do to help my ruined self-esteem?"

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Woman healing from cheating
A woman got cheated on in every relationship, and an expert explained how she can heal. Image: Dean Mitchell / FG Trade
Source: Getty Images

SACAP-qualified counsellor discusses infidelity

Shelly Lewin is a South African College of Applied Psychology (SACAP) educated professional dedicated to helping people make better connections and heal their relationships with themselves and others since 2006. The Relationship Architect began her coaching service that aims to make people have better connections in their lives.

Shelley Lewin told Briefly News that infidelity can have devastating impacts on one's self-esteem. She said the key is to process the trauma through reflection, which requires time and intentional effort.

How to heal from cheating

The seasoned relationship expert advises that self-compassion and forgiveness are key. Shelley said it is important to realise that a partner's actions do not define one's worth.

Shelley recommends engaging in activities and hobbies that bring joy and fulfilment. Focusing on hobbies can help to achieve self-care and healing through personal growth.

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Dealing with negative self-talk after infidelity

The Relationship Architect also said it is common for people who have been cheated on to view themselves negatively. Shelley said it is important to combat any negative self-talk with positive affirmations and realistic perspectives about your strengths and capabilities.

Another way to combat negativity is to find a loving and supportive community. She said:

"Surround yourself with supportive and encouraging individuals who uplift and validate your worth. Consider seeking therapy or coaching to process your emotions, gain insight into your self-esteem struggles and develop coping strategies for healing and growth."

Disclaimer: Advice given in this article is general and is not the views of Briefly News. It is not intended to influence a reader's decisions. Readers are advised to seek professional help before making any decisions.

Do you have a story to tell? Want an expert's advice? Please email us at contact@briefly.co.za with 'Ask an expert' in the subject line.

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Expert advises woman on co-parenting

Briefly News previously reported that a woman shared that she is facing challenges after having a baby with her boyfriend, who broke her trust in their relationship.

The exhausted new mom opened up about the disagreements she's had with the father of her child. She detailed his charming ways after they had a child.

Speaking to Briefly News, Shelly Lewin, a relationship expert and certified SACAP (South African College of Applied Psychology) counsellor, shared tips to co-parent effectively.

Source: Briefly News

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