“I Had a Baby With My Serial Cheater Ex”: Expert Shares Co-parenting Hacks After Infidelity
- A woman shared that she is facing challenges after having a baby with her boyfriend, who broke her trust in their relationship
- The exhausted new mom opened up about the disagreements she has had with the father of her child
- Speaking to Briefly News, Shelly Lewin, a relationship expert and certified SACAP (The South African College of Applied Psychology) counsellor, shared tips to co-parent effectively
Anonymous wrote: "I am a 26-year-old woman who had a baby with my ex who was a serial cheater. He has hurt me so many times so I do not trust him at all, and we want to co-parent, but we always fight over everything. How do I communicate effectively with him?"
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Relationship architect shares co-parenting advice
Shelley Lewin has 17 years of experience as a personal development expert. Lewin founded The Relationship Architect Coaching and Education, which is dedicated to helping people connect with themselves or their spouses. She is also the author of Uncomplicated Love, a step-by-step guide for building thriving relationships.
Speaking to Briefly News, Shelley Lewin advised that both parents must realise that the needs and best interests of the child are more important than any personal conflict. She highlighted that it is important to separate the partner's wrongdoing as a spouse from their role as a parent.
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Co-parents can organise interactions around the child
Lewin advised that co-parents separate their personal grievances from their role as caregivers. Instead, they should establish clear and consistent communication channels about the child only.
She said it is important to ensure all communication is limited to topics related to parenting and the children's welfare when co-parenting.
The relationship guru also highlighted that it is important to maintain a cooperative attitude towards the other party. The child is the most important despite feelings of betrayal or hurt because of past infidelity.
How can co-parents organise without conflict?
To help with interaction between co-parents, Lewin advises that both must create a structured schedule. The couple can outline shared responsibilities and decision-making processes to minimise conflicts and confusion.
The seasoned author finally recommended leaning on loved ones to help navigate emotional challenges.:
"Seek support from trusted friends, family members, or professionals to help navigate the emotional challenges of co-parenting after infidelity."
Disclaimer: Advice given in this article is general and is not the views of Briefly News. It is not intended to influence a reader's decisions. Readers are advised to seek professional help before making any decisions.
Do you have a story to tell? Want an expert's advice? Please email us at contact@briefly.co.za with 'Ask an expert' in the subject line.
Lady roasts parents, SA has plenty to say
In another story, Briefly News reported that a 30-year-old needed advice after keeping a secret from her partner. The lady revealed that she had a harrowing experience as a teen.
The lady has been in a relationship for six years while holding onto her secret. She seeks advice on how to break the news about her secret child to her fiancé who recently asked for her hand in marriage
Shelley Lewin shared her two cents about the woman's dilemma now that she is married with a big secret.
Source: Briefly News
