"I Can't Help Telling My Husband's Best Friend's Wife That Her Husband is Cheating": Expert Advises
- A woman wrote to Briefly News about suspecting her husband's married best friend of having an emotional affair
- The woman shared her stress and concerns about the man's behaviour and struggling to keep her suspicions to herself
- An experienced life coach provided various options the woman could consider in approaching the tricky relationship matter
Anonymous wrote: "I suspect my husband's married best friend is having an emotional affair with a married woman. I don't have any concrete evidence, but his behaviour has raised red flags. These red flags include laughing and being on his phone for long periods as well as spending less time at home.
My gut tells me his friend's wife deserves to know, especially since they have two young children. I find myself struggling to communicate comfortably with the friend's family, and it feels like I'm lying to someone, and that mentally drains me. However, interfering feels wrong. It could damage our friendship with them, and potentially strain my relationship with my husband. On the other hand, staying silent could allow this betrayal to continue. What is the ethical thing to do? Should I try to gather proof, confront the friend directly, or stay out of it altogether?"
Life coach advises anonymous to be careful about acting on her suspicions
Penny Holburn is a life, career and business coach. She has numerous local and international awards and 14 years of experience. She has worked with thousands of people, helping them reinvent their lives, get out of a rut, fix their relationships and manage stress, anxiety and depression.
Speaking to Briefly News, Penny cautioned anonymous about speaking up about her suspicion in case the man wasn't cheating.
"If you say something, and he is not cheating, it could cause untold damage in the relationship. His wife will always feel suspicious, and any relationship you have with the couple will most likely be finished," Penny said.
Penny explained that anonymous could choose to stay out of the matter as it is the couple's business, not hers.
Penny added that anonymously raising the issue indirectly with the wife could also raise the issue.
"Have coffee and ask how she is and see if you can find out how their relationship is going. She may have her own suspicions but don’t put them in her head unless you have facts and evidence.
"You say you have no concrete evidence, so if you feel you really need to find out if he is cheating, then go and get it. And only then think about saying something. If you are going to tell his wife that he is betraying her, then make sure he is," Penny advised.
Disclaimer: The advice in this article is general and does not reflect the views of Briefly News. It is not intended to influence a reader's decisions. Readers are advised to seek professional help before making any decisions.
Do you have a story to tell? Want an expert's advice? Please email us at contact@briefly.co.za with 'Ask an expert' in the subject line.
"My son doesn't provide for his kids despite earning well": Expert offers solutions for stressed gogo
In another story, Briefly News reported on a distressed gogo who opened up about how her adult son didn't provide for his kids or pay child maintenance.
The elderly gogo, who earns a pension, explained the family matter and how her son earns a good salary but doesn't care for his two kids.
A family expert weighed in on the issue and provided solutions on how the gogo could alleviate her stress.
Source: Briefly News
Nothando Mthembu (Senior editor) Nothando Mthembu is a senior multimedia journalist and editor. Nothando has over 5 years of work experience and has served several media houses including Caxton Local Newspapers. She has experience writing on human interest, environment, crime and social issues for community newspapers. She holds a Bachelor’s Degree and an Honours Degree in Media Studies from the University of KwaZulu-Natal, obtained in 2016 and 2017. Nothando has also passed a set of trainings by Google News Initiative. Email: nothando.mthembu@briefly.co.za
Penny Holburn (Founder of Penny Holburn Coaching) Penny Holburn is a life, career and business coach running her own coaching business since 2010. She has spent 20 years as a consultant in psychological assessment, organisational development, personal and business change, leadership development, coaching and counselling. Penny has majors in psychology and industrial psychology and an MSc Cum Laude in psychology and has completed a Senior Management Development Programme through Wits Business School.