“Chief Negotiator at the Gate”: Lobola Uncles Face Childish Games, SA Amused
- A hilarious video captured a group of lobola delegates being subjected to a playful series of financial challenges by a young gate negotiator at their in-laws' house
- The entertaining clip was shared on TikTok, attracting massive views and comments from an amused online community
- Social media users were charmed by the young girl’s seriousness and boldness, with many calling her a chief negotiator and admiring her dedication to the task
- Briefly News spoke with Mkhulu Thobile, a Xhosa traditional leader who is familiar with the lobola negotiation practice, to get his expert opinion on the viral video of the young gate negotiator
Source: TikTok
A humorous video of a traditional lobola negotiation at an Eastern Cape village home sparked widespread amusement among social media users.
The clip, shared by TikTok user @hlubikazi_95, was met with a wave of laughter and praise from viewers who were impressed by the young girl's boldness.
The video shows a delegation of about seven elderly men, all neatly dressed in suits, arriving at the gate of the family home. They are met not by an elder, but by a young girl in a short traditional dress, who acts as the gate negotiator for their entry fee. The men put down money, and the young girl opened the gate just enough to pick up and check the amount. After counting and seeing that the amount was not enough, she closed the gate and left them standing.
The gate negotiator excels in her job
The wait continued as the men kept adding money, with the young lady seemingly communicating via text with whoever was giving her directions inside the house. At one moment, she casually sat down on the ground, played a game of stones, took selfies, and then opened the gate again to meticulously count the money. Only when the amount reached the final agreed-upon sum was the large gate opened to allow the delegation in. The original poster later confirmed in the comments that the final entry fee was R2,000.
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Source: TikTok
The meaning of the gate negotiation fee
The Briefly News team spoke with Mkhulu Thobile about the humorous video of the Eastern Cape young girl and the meaning behind the financial games at the gate during lobola negotiations.
The team asked the man if it was traditional for a young person to hold such a powerful position at the gate during the lobola negotiation process. The man responded:
"The position of the gatekeeper is very important, and it is usually an older, unmarried relative of the bride. Using the young girl, however, is a clever cultural custom. It adds a layer of humour to the process and immediately removes the tension, making it harder for the arriving elders to be too aggressive. Kids also do as they are told. If the family says don't open until the amount has reached R5000, they'll do as they are told."
We asked if the Xhosa culture allows for such drawn-out financial games, like the R2000 that was paid, just for entry.
"Yes, it is essential to the custom. That entry fee is part of imvulamlomo (loosely translated as mouth opener), it is a symbolic test of the groom's family's patience and commitment. It shows the bride's family that the delegates value the bride enough to endure the delay and pay the required money."
When asked what the purpose of the gate negotiation in the Xhosa culture is, the traditional healer said:
"The purpose is to sweeten the mouth of the bride's family. It is the initial act of respect that allows the negotiations to formally begin. Without it, the communication is blocked, signifying that the delegation has not shown proper obedience to the bride's home."
SA reacts to the lobola delegates' drama
The video garnered massive views, likes, and comments from social media users who were thoroughly entertained by the young girl's boldness and professionalism. Many users called her a chief negotiator, saying they loved her commitment to the job.
Some jokingly expressed that they would have been worried that the delegates might leave and not come back. They noted how much the little girl must have gotten on their nerves. Others said they'd take 10% of the gate fee if they were her, as she was the one who negotiated with the men.
User @Tumi el-Shasha shared:
"They placed a chief negotiator at the gate. She must love her work🤣."
User @uncleed said:
"I’d make sure I take at least 10% of the lobola money before they get in😂."
User @Amanda Gumede commented:
"The fact that she takes the money, then counts it. Then she puts it back and closes the gate. After that, she proceeds to take selfies😭 LMAO 😂."
User @_Kuhle_♡ shared:
"A focused hun 😂."
User @kuhle Twala said:
"She killed me when she sat down 😂."
User @Prudy baby commented:
"My nephew was supposed to do this, that boy opened the gate and walked away 😩."
User @Mike Larry shared:
"Very soon we'll have speed points at the entrances 🤣."
Watch the TikTok video below:
3 Briefly News articles about lobola negotiations
- A South African woman sparked a conversation about modernising lobola negotiations after sharing a marriage agreement form that she used for her own, adding that it was legally recognised.
- A local family put much effort into preparing food for their in-laws, who were meant to arrive for the lobola negotiation, but the man's family never arrived.
- A happy lady shared a video of four men counting bank notes, mostly R100 and R200, and putting them in stashes of R1000 during her lobola negotiation.
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Source: Briefly News
