“This Is Starting To Be the Norm”: Woman and Her Family Left Waiting on Lobola Day, SA Shows Support

• A woman shared a heartbreaking story of preparing for her lobola negotiations, only for her fiancé's family to never arrive and his shocking move afterwards
• The emotional video was shared on TikTok, where it went viral, attracting massive views and comments from a sympathetic online community
• Social media users offered words of comfort and wisdom, with many saying she dodged a bullet, and others warning against premature celebrations for traditional ceremonies

A local woman’s video reflecting on the betrayal by a man she was hoping to spend the rest of her life with, and one of her closest friends, moved social media users.

The emotional clip, shared on TikTok by @khuu_22, was met with an outpouring of sympathy and support from social media users who told her God had saved her.

The video captures a scene of bustling activity and joyous anticipation. It showed the woman's family members moving with high spirits around a shed, preparing plates, and taking out fresh vegetables to be used for cooking. The environment was festive, with everyone working at a high pace to get everything ready.

The lobola day that turned sour

In the accompanying caption, the woman detailed the heartbreaking turn of events which happened in 2023. Her family woke up at 4 AM to prepare for the lobola delegates from her fiancé's family, but they never pitched. The anticipation turned into confusion, then disappointment. The ultimate betrayal, however, came two months later when she learned that the same man had paid lobola for her closest friend.

SA shows the woman love and support

The viral video garnered 887K views, 68K likes, and 4.6K comments from social media users who were mostly sympathetic and affected by her story. Many users offered words of comfort, saying she dodged a bullet and that a failed relationship was far better than a broken marriage. These users wished her love and light, and were happy to hear that she had started her healing journey.

Others offered traditional wisdom, warning against celebrating the negotiations prematurely. They advised that families should only start cooking once the guests have arrived, suggesting that announcing such events too early can sometimes attract negative energies or bad spirits.

User @mashoto__m said:

"My cousin’s lobola was private, no up and down, no friends, no loud music, no family. Grandma said that’s how it should be. I don’t know, maybe Sepedi culture is different from other cultures. I am sorry you went through this, mama💛 phephi (may you heal)."

User @SIB-SIB shared:

"This is starting to be the norm. Why are they doing this? Askies stranger."

User @Nate🇿🇦 added:

"You dodged a bullet."

User @Zanelle uMaKhumalo commented:

"Be grateful, sana (dear). I know it hurts, but imagine being married to a man who hates you. You won, and God saved you. The pain will eventually subside. I don’t know how long, but you'll be alright."

User @BamdikiTendai🇿🇼 said:

"A failed relationship is better than a broken marriage."

User @NatsM shared:

"I'm sorry, my babe. This was me in 2016. My family made fun of me, saying, I wrote a letter by myself 🙄. Bengiyinhlekisa yezwa (I was a laughing stock). My mom was the only person who was there for me, and I'm so thankful for her every day ❤️. Till this day, I haven't healed, but we move!"

User @fred-beula commented:

"My sister, you must heal because bigger things are coming your way."

Watch the TikTok video below:

3 Briefly News articles about lobola negotiations

• A hilarious video captured a group of lobola delegates being subjected to a playful series of financial challenges by a young gate negotiator who did not let them in at their in-laws' without paying R2000.
• A South African woman sparked a conversation about modernising lobola negotiations after sharing a marriage agreement form that she used for her own, adding that it was legally recognised.
• A local family put much effort into preparing food for their in-laws, who were meant to arrive for the lobola negotiation, but the man's family never arrived.

Source: Briefly News