"I Tried to Leave, Then Got Pregnant": Woman's Story of Escaping Abusive Marriage Inspires SA

"I Tried to Leave, Then Got Pregnant": Woman's Story of Escaping Abusive Marriage Inspires SA

  • Natasha Tshabalala shared a TikTok video revealing the hurtful things and abuse she suffered in her marriage
  • She detailed controlling behaviour, emotional manipulation, and even a suicide attempt
  • Speaking to Briefly News, Life Coach Penny Holburn unpacked the various reasons why women may stay in unhealthy relationships
  • Her story resonated with many South African women who shared their own experiences

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A woman opened up about the abuse she suffered in her marriage
A woman shared how she was stuck in an unhappy marriage. Image: @natasha29291
Source: TikTok

A woman took to social media to open up about the dark side of her marriage that many people knew nothing about.

Woman shares toxic marriage

Natasha Tshabalala posted a TikTok video in which she detailed how, in the post, she always used to flaunt her wedding ring and title of " Mrs" despite being ill-treated by her then-husband.

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In the post, Natasha revealed that the man wanted a baby from her even though she was still furthering her studies and that he would always tell her to get out of his car every chance he got, forcing her to beg him to calm down so that she wouldn't be left stranded.

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At some point, Natasha started attending church, praying for her husband and their marriage, trying to be the good wife he had trained her to be. While there, Natasha admitted that she met someone else she liked but played it cool and tried to work on her exit plan to leave the marriage.

She details how she took off her wedding ring, stopped caring when he didn't return home and started to see life without him. However, the unexpected happened, and she fell pregnant with his child just as she was trying to work on leaving him.

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They decided to keep the child, but Natasha remained unhappy in a toxic marriage and even tried to commit suicide.

Things took a turn for the better when she got a different job and met other ladies who helped her better herself and eventually left her toxic husband.

After more than two years in a difficult marriage, with the support of her loved ones, Natasha is now in a much better place, embracing her life and beauty and seeking therapy.

Click here to view the post.

Life coach shares marriage advice

Life, Career and Business Coach, Penny Holburn spoke to Briefly News about the difficulty of leaving an unhealthy relationship.

"Our brains like the familiar. For this reason most of us battle with change. A woman may stay with an abusive/toxic man because this is all she knows.

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"She may have never experienced a man behaving in any other way and thinks this is just how relationships are.
"She may be terrified to leave because of threats – threats to either harm her, the children, the rest of her family or friends, and even threats to take the children away from her," Penny explained.

Penny also touched on the possibilities of financial dependence, religious reasons and/or having poor self-esteem or feelings of worthlessness when a woman is "stuck" in a relationship.

"He may apologise and give gifts or promise to make things better in the long run, and she may be living in hope that this will happen. Usually, it doesn’t. Once someone has abused you they are likely to do it again, Penny explained.

Woman's difficult journey touches SA

Natasha's story resonated with many women online as they shared how they could relate to her experiences. Others commended her for her strength and for choosing herself.

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luluthando2 commented:

"Lapho umuhle and look very humble abazazi ngampela bafunani laba (That time you are so beautiful and look very humble. These men don't know what they want)."

Nonhlanzeko Msomi ♥️ replied:

"Buka umuhle kanjani (Just look at how beautiful you are)."

Smangele Tshabalala commented:

"Hope you did a ceremony alerting your ancestors and your guides that you're no longer married. I love this for you❤️."

Lebo Pearl wrote:

"I love the fact that everything comes to pass. 7 years of no joy. Every time when I tell my story, I always start by saying Do not ask me why I stayed for long; I don't have answers to other questions."

Lebohang Mokoena343 responded:

"Went through something similar before I left my marriage in 2020 (after being married for 4 years). One day I'll share my story, love and light mama❤️."

Pulie responded:

"Your story and mine are similar. Let's continue shining and living, my dear! ."

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Relebogile wrote:

"You don't need an apology from him my dear, take it as a learning experience and enjoy life, love and light ❤️."

Loving mom supports daughter through breakup journey

In another story, Briefly News reported that going through a breakup can be hard and bring a wave of confusing and unexpected emotions. Thankfully for @_you.wana, she doesn't have to go through it alone.

The young woman posted a TikTok video which shows herself and her mother holding a candle-lit cupcake as they celebrate @_you.wana not contacting her ex for a significant period of time

Source: Briefly News

Authors:
Nothando Mthembu avatar

Nothando Mthembu (Senior editor) Nothando Mthembu is a senior multimedia journalist and editor. Nothando has over 5 years of work experience and has served several media houses including Caxton Local Newspapers. She has experience writing on human interest, environment, crime and social issues for community newspapers. She holds a Bachelor’s Degree and an Honours Degree in Media Studies from the University of KwaZulu-Natal, obtained in 2016 and 2017. Nothando has also passed a set of trainings by Google News Initiative. Email: nothando.mthembu@briefly.co.za

Penny Holburn avatar

Penny Holburn (Founder of Penny Holburn Coaching) Penny Holburn is a life, career and business coach running her own coaching business since 2010. She has spent 20 years as a consultant in psychological assessment, organisational development, personal and business change, leadership development, coaching and counselling. Penny has majors in psychology and industrial psychology and an MSc Cum Laude in psychology and has completed a Senior Management Development Programme through Wits Business School.

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