Family Recounts Adoption Battle for Girl Found at Their Gate 20 Years Ago
- In 2001, a family discovered a baby in the arms of a young girl, with the mom disappearing into thin air
- The young girl is now 20 years old, and having accepted her as their own, the family still struggles with the adoption process
- The family narrated their struggle to adopt Rami, who is a special girl
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She was only seven days old when they discovered her in 2001. Nancy Amati’s late mom, a teacher, came home to find one of her nieces seated outside the gate and holding another baby she had never seen before.
Source: UGC
No one knows how the baby ended up in another baby’s arms.
“But my mom took the little one in as one of her own as that, to her, was the right thing to do. My youngest sister had just cleared high school. She fell in love with the baby and took care of her like her own, clinic, feeding (cow's milk) and would cuddle the baby in her stomach for the baby not to freeze to death. The child was underweight and helpless. Formula was not even a consideration because of the cost,” Amati added.
They named the little girl Ildiko Rami, meaning “you are loved”.
Rami was a special kid
Gradually, Amati’s late mom, nicknamed “Angel, " noticed that young Rami was late in hitting some milestones. But her friends quickly dissuaded her and assured her that it was normal.
Their late mom adopted her because no one else of legal age in the family was able to.
“In preschool and early primary, her excellent mathematical ability as well as outstanding neat handwriting were obvious. At around age seven, she seemed rude, uncooperative and unruly. At first, we would get angry, frustrated with her before we suspected that it might be more than it seemed,” Amati recalled.
Concerned, Amati’s mom took her to the doctor for diagnosis and was informed that Rami needed special education. A school was recommended.
On attending, Amati said they discovered that she ended up being used to care for the other special kids as she was not too badly off. But, unfortunately, her condition continued in regression. So, the family decided to pull her out.
“My youngest sister, who was by then an adult, wanted to adopt her. Other than loving her, she was in a position to get her the help she needed, better health care, youthful energy as well as a break for mom, who was now retired and taking care of my sick dad. We were introduced to a lawyer who started the adoption process,” Amati said.
Seven years later and with lots of money, the adoption ‘went through’, or so they thought.
"It's much later that we learnt that it was all a sham. Meanwhile, both of our parents had passed on, and her regression was steep and rapid. She automatically came into my care. She has been through various tests, scans and all but no doctor so far has been able to tell us what the problem is. Two more lawyers later, no adoption,” Amati said.
The courts rejected the applications citing improper adoption procedures after her rescue.
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The first attempts failed because the court said we did not have the right paperwork documenting the abandonment. A police report was supposed to be issued from the jurisdiction where the child had been found. But, unfortunately, the report could not be written because Amati’s late mom only notified the area chief.
“The frustration is that facts on the ground are not in law: My mom who would have answered some of the questions has been dead since 2014. We do not know her biological parents (and we have tried to trace back) so as to get them to legally give her up. She regresses, and without the proper documentation, she can't even go out of the country for different opinions and even possible treatment,” Amati explained.
The question is, if the family did not follow the procedure, Amati’s sister could not adopt her, in whose care is she legally?
Rami is legally an adult, now 20, but because of her disability, she cannot take care of herself and therefore has to depend on someone. Who has the authority to make decisions for her; there is no clause as far as we know that caters for special needs children that allows adoption even after attaining the majority age?
“She is a beautiful soul, very kind, has an incredible memory. She encounters someone and years later she can recognise the person as well as the name. She is also very beautiful physically. She senses negative energy from a mile away and if you know her, you will know who to keep off from.”
As she gets older, the concerns grow. Who will be there to care for her, both physically and otherwise?
“The constant worry of 'team mafisi threat' but also keeping alive hope that one day she may get the help she needs and dazzle the world with her beauty and abilities both internal and external. She loves babies, loves to help out,” said Amati.
They are fighting to make sure she is protected legally, that if they choose to travel outside the country, they would be able to get her a passport and take her with them, even if just for a vacation.
"Right now, we are not able to because of the roadblocks that exist throughout our current system, and it is disheartening," Amati said.
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Source: Briefly News
Maryn Blignaut (Human-Interest HOD) Maryn Blignaut is the Human Interest manager and feature writer. She holds a BA degree in Communication Science, which she obtained from the University of South Africa in 2016. She joined the Briefly - South African News team shortly after graduating and has over six years of experience in the journalism field. Maryn passed the AFP Digital Investigation Techniques course (Google News Initiative), as well as a set of trainings for journalists by Google News Initiative. You can reach her at: maryn.blignaut@briefly.co.za
Kelly Lippke (Senior Editor) Kelly Lippke is a copy editor/proofreader who started her career at the Northern-Natal Courier with a BA in Communication Science/Psychology (Unisa, 2007). Kelly has worked for several Caxton publications, including the Highway Mail and Northglen News. Kelly’s unique editing perspective stems from an additional major in Linguistics. Kelly joined Briefly News in 2018 and she has 14 years of experience. Kelly has also passed a set of trainings by Google News Initiative. You can reach her at kelly.lippke@briefly.co.za.
