“We Are in Charge Now”: South African Women Create New Lobola Rules

• African women discussed the concept of lobola and decided to tweak a few things that benefit men 
• A young South African lady led the conversation on TikTok after she dissected the tradition in a now-viral post
• Social media users were happy to discuss the topic further in a thread of 421 comments on Wednesday 

Lobola is a popular tradition in the African culture when a man is interested in marrying a woman he fancies.

He and his family need to present the bride’s family with cattle or, in the modern world, an amount of money that pleases the lady’s uncles.

African women reimagine lobola in 2025

A young South African woman’s thoughts went viral on TikTok and attracted over 120K people. Nokukhanya Nkosi studied the concept of lobola and how it favoured men.

The woman wanted to reimagine the tradition and tweaked a few rules, especially when it came to deciding on the bride price:

“Since lobola is charged less when the woman has a child outside the relationship, it would be fair to charge men more for bringing a child into the marriage.”

The woman’s value is based on her quality of life. The groom’s family inspects her education level and her sexual orientation. Mzansi women thought it was unfair that the men were not examined and expanded on the topic in a thread of comments. 

See the TikTok post below:

Mzansi ladies discuss lobola in 2025

Social media users were excited to dissect the lobola tradition in Black society and commented:

@Que explained:

“A lady I know’s lobola was a bit more because she had a child, which confirmed that she can have children. The uncles and the family were shocked. Even the bride herself was shocked. Her man’s family discussed this and concluded she’s worth more because she’s able to grow their family.”

@makhosazalesegomatseme said:

“Things have changed; we are in charge now.”

@Bluebaby agreed with Nokukhanya:

“Especially if he is coming with many kids from different baby mamas.”

@Dormant Sugar liked the idea:

“Well, it can definitely be negotiated. Since you'll be taking care of a child that's not yours.”

@Zuri praised the innovative woman:

“I like how you think. Are you sure you don't want to be our president? I want to see something.”

@BlueZia commented:

“You are actually on to something.”

@uS’the💘agreed:

“He must pay more if he has a child. It balances that way.”

@M.Xulu shared her Ts and Cs:

“If I'm the primary caregiver, then yes, I fully agree; however, if they stay with their mother/s, then I don't see the relevance of that.”

3 More lobola-related stories by Briefly News

• South Africans called for the banning of the Shembe Church after a video of a young bride circulated online.
• An Italian man warmed the internet when he flew to South Africa to lobola his Pedi sweetheart and trended online.
• An American man amazed many people on the internet when he flew to South Africa to lobola his Mzansi bae.

Source: Briefly News