“I Was Beaten to the Point of Unconsciousness”: SA Woman Opens Up About Escaping 8 Years of Marriage
- A lady got candid about her life while being married to an alleged abuser for eight years, where she endured so much pain and suffering
- The stunner's story touched and shocked many online users, generating loads of views, thousands of likes and comments
- People could not fathom how horrible her own husband treated her, even when she was pregnant with their child
- Briefly News spoke to psychologist and relationship expert Penny Holburn on why people stay abused and more
PAY ATTENTION: Let yourself be inspired by real people who go beyond the ordinary! Subscribe and watch our new shows on Briefly TV Life now!
One woman on social media opened up about her marriage, which shocked many people on the internet.
Woman leaves husband, who told her she would never be as pretty as his sidechick
Angella Dlamini posted a TikTok video detailing her eight years of marriage. The woman revealed that her hubby once told her she would never be as "pretty as his side chick," which she "believed."
The lady who endured so much suffering and pain at the hands of her husband went on to say that she was beaten to the point of being "unconscious," all because she did not respond to her phone. It did not stop there for Angella as her husband continued to mistreat her allegedly. He ordered her to cook and clean just after two days of postpartum.
Angella went on to say that she would "lie" to her boss at work that she was involved in a car accident to cover up her husband, who was abusing her.
"He once spitted on my face, and I did nothing," Angella said in her video.
She added that, as a punishment, her husband would make her hike on N4 during rainy and cold weather while she was six months pregnant. He also made her sleep outside, wiped her phone to the point that she lost all her kids' pictures, and asked her to stay off social media.
“My Brain Started Leaking”: Lady accuses roommate of using witchcraft to turn her from A to D student
Things took a turn for the better, and now Angella is free from the shackles of abuse at the hands of her husband, saying:
"I'm refined, restored and re-established."
Click here to see the post.
Why do people stay in abuse, according to an expert?
While speaking to Briefly News, psychologist and relationship expert Penny Holburn shared why people stay in abuse.
"There are a number of reasons why people will stay in abusive relationships or situations. They might be financially dependent upon the abuser and not see themselves as able to financially provide for themselves. They may stay for the children – because they feel the children will be better off in the relationship, or the abuser may have threatened to take away their children should they leave."
"Other threats can also keep people in abusive relationships. They may be threatened with physical harm to themselves or loved ones or even threatened with death if they leave. They may believe this is all they deserve. This may be all they know. Some people think abuse is how relationships are. People also stay because they like the familiar. They know this situation, and it takes too much energy and effort to make a change," she added.
What are the common physical and psychological signs that someone is experiencing domestic abuse?
Penny Holburn went on to say that one can detect when a person is a victim of abuse with the following:
- The individual isolates themselves, is extremely quiet and uncommunicative, fails to voice needs and desires, has low confidence and self-esteem, defers decision-making to others, experiences health issues, such as frequent colds and flu, and exhibits symptoms of anxiety and depression.
- There may or may not be outward indicators of physical abuse, such as scratches, bruises, or broken bones.
- A perpetrator of physical abuse may occasionally be skilled at hiding the symptoms.
How can friends and family members identify and support a loved one who might be in an abusive relationship?
"Read up and educate yourself on how to help the person. Learn the signs of abuse. Understand that someone being abused may reject your help at first due to embarrassment, shame, and fear. Keep on providing support. Give them the names and contact details of people and organisations that can help them. Let them know they are not alone. Stay in contact with the abused person regularly. Be kind to them," she added.
"For many of our sisters to see this and have the courage to do it": Woman leaves abusive husband of 8 years
Woman's difficult journey touches netizens
Angella's story resonated with many women online as they shared how they could relate to her experiences. Others applauded her for her strength and for choosing herself.
Adrienne said:
"Everyone that is asking why she stayed that long? I don’t have the answer but I can promise leaving is HARD! Big ups to you for finding the courage. It’s only up from here onward."
Mabhunku-Jonny added:
"I can relate to your story."
Princess Frecah wrote:
"The way God created women with a special kind of strength is something we will never fathom. Cheers to winning."
Sallymokone shared:
"Thank God you came out alive, and you are writing a new chapter of your life."
Judykinz added:
"No words. We thank God for giving you the courage to leave with your babies and Protecting you over those years. Love and light."
Helena11 wished her well, saying:
"For every tear you have shed, may the Lord restore it a 100 times more with so much happiness sending love and light."
Palesa Thlaku-Sekabate commented:
"All I can say is that I am proud of you. God has restored you."
Woman's story of escaping abusive marriage inspires SA
Briefly News previously reported that A woman took to social media to open up about the dark side of her marriage that many people knew nothing about.
Natasha Tshabalala posted a TikTok video in which she detailed how, in the post, she always used to flaunt her wedding ring and title of " Mrs" despite being ill-treated by her then-husband.
PAY ATTENTION: Сheck out news that is picked exactly for YOU - click on “Recommended for you” and enjoy!
Source: Briefly News
Johana Mukandila (Editor) Johana Tshidibi Mukandila has been a Human Interest Reporter at Briefly News since 2023. She holds a national diploma in journalism from the Cape Peninsula University Of Technology (2023). She has worked at the United Nations High Commissioner for Refugees, PAICTA, BONA Magazine and Albella Music Production. She is currently furthering her education in journalism at the CPUT. She has passed a set of trainings from Google News Initiative. Reach her at johana.mukandila@briefly.co.za
Penny Holburn (Founder of Penny Holburn Coaching) Penny Holburn is a life, career and business coach running her own coaching business since 2010. She has spent 20 years as a consultant in psychological assessment, organisational development, personal and business change, leadership development, coaching and counselling. Penny has majors in psychology and industrial psychology and an MSc Cum Laude in psychology and has completed a Senior Management Development Programme through Wits Business School.