“My Queen, I Respect You”: Woman Spends 30 Days at In-Laws for Makoti Induction

• A recently married woman shared a vlog detailing a day in her 30-day makoti induction at her in-laws, showcasing her daily duties and new expectations
• The clip was posted on TikTok, where it went viral and became a major talking point among social media users
• Viewers were amused by the woman's casual attire, while others weighed in on the tradition of staying with in-laws and the expectations placed on a new makoti
• Briefly News spoke with Mkhulu Thobile, a traditional healer from Cape Town, to discuss the traditions and significance of makoti's stay at her in-laws

A happily married woman captivated social media with a video detailing one of her 30 days of training as a makoti at her mother-in-law's home.

The clip, shared by TikTok user @kamogelomokgabudi, garnered massive views, likes, and comments from social media users who debated the need for 30 days at the in-laws.

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The woman begins her vlog in the morning with her facial routine, then gets dressed to begin her duties. She is seen in a hoodie and short tights, taking the rubbish out and getting ready to clean the house. She mentions that her mother-in-law later asks for tea and told her she is not properly dressed for her duties in her tights. She then changes into a traditional skirt.

Learning makoti duties and family traditions

She is then seen sitting on a traditional mat (ukhukho) while, according to her, receiving words of wisdom about her new journey, which usually includes a list of dos and don'ts as a makoti. After the induction, she is released to continue with her chores. She then does laundry and prepares vegetables for the next day, Sunday's lunch, which she plans to make easier by preparing the veggies on Saturday.

The significance of a makoti's induction

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The Briefly News team spoke with Mkhulu Thobile, a revered traditional healer from Cape Town, to gain deeper insight into the cultural practices surrounding a new bride's integration into her husband's family.

We asked the sangoma how long in the Xhosa culture a makoti is expected to stay with her in-laws after getting married. He said:

"Traditionally, it is anything between three and six months. This time is for her to learn the family's ways, the dos and don'ts, and to get to know her new family. These days, however, wives work, and you find the man's home is very far from where they work or is in rural areas, so that's not practical. The duration has become shorter to adapt to modern life."

The team wanted to know the significance of a makoti sitting on the floor or on a traditional mat instead of a couch.

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"The act of a makoti on the floor or on a traditional mat (ukhukho) is a sign of humility and respect. It shows that she had come to learn and serve her new family. It's also a way to show that she has humbled herself and is ready to be a part of a new family and respect the elders of that clan."

We asked Mkhulu his view on the 30 days spent at the in-laws, as some people on social media felt it was too long. He said:

"The number of days is not important as the intention behind the stay. It is about the quality of the time spent learning. The 30 days are a symbolic period of induction to ensure the makoti understands her new role and the expectations of her new home. It is a very important part of the journey of becoming a full member of the family."

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When asked how this tradition helps new marriages and families, Mkhulu Thobile responded:

"It strengthens the bond between the bride and her husband's family. It ensures she doesn't feel like an outsider. By learning these traditions, she can seamlessly integrate and contribute to the harmony of the home. This creates a strong foundation for a long and happy marriage and for a prosperous family."

Netizens debate the roles and duties of makotis

The video went viral, with many viewers finding her choice of clothing amusing and daring. The comments section was filled with a mix of lighthearted jokes and serious discussions about makoti traditions.

Many expressed that they found the concept of staying at the in-laws for an extended period a bit odd, though they respected that it was a cultural expectation in other communities. Some shared their experiences and opinions on the duties expected of a married woman. Others joked that they were too lazy for marriage, as they did not even cook for their own families and would not be able to cope with the expectations placed on them.

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User @phumzilephumimazi added:

"A full 30 days? My queen, I respect you immensely."

User @tumee

"You were a rebel like me with those tights. Luckily, I've got the best mother-in-law who understands that I’m her daughter. When I lost my husband, I stayed with her for 3 months or so. Listen, we drink the same beverage. We grieved together. I’m still her only daughter. I love her to heaven."

User @Doris

"This is the part I don’t vote for 😫. May it never locate me because wow, I can't."

User @magical_jesska

"I'll religiously be watching your videos as I am taking this journey in Dec. Think I'm gonna need a calming pill every morning though."

User @Xoli

"I'm very fortunate cause I don't have umamazala and ubabezala (in-laws). I don't even have a sister-in-law.😁 I only have a brother-in-law 🙏🏻."

User @Oamo Makoe

"Bathong 30 days, not even one week nyana? I am grateful that I did not go through this, even today. When I get there, I sleep and wake up like everyone."

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User @Doris

"This is the part I don’t vote for 😫 may it never locate me because wow I can't."

Watch the TikTok video below:

3 Brief News articles about in-laws

• A mother-in-law visiting her son's house told her makoti to wear anything she was comfortable in, reminding her that she and her husband were visitors in their home and not there to police them.
• A humorous husband asked his wife if she didn't want to go and make a baby in front of his mother-in-law, leaving her shocked and blushing.
• A flexible mother-in-law called out other in-laws for mistreating their sons' wives, saying her makotis were like her daughters and that she even shops for them in their absence.

Source: Briefly News