"Where Did My Mojo Go?”: Wife Doesn’t Want to Get Jiggy Jiggy, Expert Helps Save Family
- A 41-year-old woman is desperate to save her family after her libido pulled a disappearing act
- The married mom of one revealed she has no desire to have some sexy time with her husband of seven years
- The woman revealed her husband has been understanding thus far but fears his patience might wear thin soon
- Sex educator and relationship expert Shelley Nele spoke to Briefly News and offered five helpful tips on how to reignite the fire of a dwindling libido
Source: Getty Images
Anonymous wrote:
“I'm a 41-year-old woman who married the love of her life seven years ago. We're blessed with a beautiful little girl, and my love for my husband knows no bounds. I would move mountains to make him happy.
"But lately, something's changed. My sex drive is now practically non-existent. My husband is so patient, and he still makes me feel like the most beautiful woman in the world. I am doing everything I can, but it just looks awkward, and I fear that his patience will wear thin soon.
"How do I rekindle that passion between us? Where did my mojo go, and how do I get it back before it's too late? I am afraid of losing the family I love to the moon and back.”
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Relationship expert gives advice on getting one's mojo back
Kelley Nele is a Relationship and Sex Educator and writer. She has been helping individuals for five years and guiding people on foundational and advanced topics within the realm of dating, relationships, sex and sexuality.
Kelley Nele has worked with many people who face issues similar to those of Anonymous, and she has all the tools to help people reignite the fire within themselves and their relationships.
Sex educator's 5 tips for restoring a broken libido
1. Do introspect
Finding the root of the cause is, more often than not, the key to success. Nele suggests doing some introspection to see where things changed:
"When did the change in your libido occur and what was happening at the time? Several things can affect our libido, from grief to childbirth, to our mental or physical health, to work stress. Reflecting on this question can give you insight into what changed and how you can go about resolving the issue."
2. Learn about responsive desire
Nele says everyone has access to spontaneous desire, but women are more responsive.
She told Briefly News:
"Responsive desire means that you need to give your body sufficient time to respond to sexual stimuli. Think of it like a fire that needs to be stoked before it burns. What do you need to get stoked? Is it a clean space? Is it a shower? Is it hard to be in the moment with a child around? Do you require emotional intimacy as a form of foreplay? Figure out what you need and pass the information on to your hubby."
3. Take care of yourself and your health
Living a healthy lifestyle is not just not just about getting the doctor off your back or an acceptable number on the scale. Having a healthy diet and getting enough exercise and sleep is crucial for maintaining a healthy sex life as well. Nele explains:
"Our hormones are significantly affected by these factors. Try to prioritise sleep, eating right and moving your body."
Basically, when your hormones are out of whack, so is your libido.
4. Explore your own body
Who would have thought that an effective way to reignite the fire in the bedroom with your partner is to find out on your own terms what gets you going?
Nele explains that, ahem, 'helping yourself' is the simplest way to (re)discover what forms of touch do it for you.
"Once you’ve done this successfully, you can share this information with your hubby," she added.
5. See a doctor
When all else fails, seek medical advice. Sometimes the problem is physiological and needs a healthcare professional to get sorted out.
Nele listed depression, chronic illness, age, hormone levels and medications among many factors that could affect your libido. She concluded:
"Speaking to a doctor can help you get to the root of the issue and resolve the matter appropriately."
Disclaimer: Advice given in this article is general and is not the views of Briefly News. It is not intended to influence a reader's decisions. Readers are advised to seek professional help before making any decisions.
Do you have a story to tell? Want an expert's advice? Please email us at contact@briefly.co.za with 'Ask an expert' in the subject line.
Fiancé demands bride uninvite wealthy parents to wedding
Briefly News previously reported on another woman with relationship woes. The soon-to-be bride was afraid her marriage might end even before they had the chance to walk down the aisle.
The 32-year-old woman is caught in the middle of a fight between her future hubby and her wealthy parents.
Relationship expert Shelley Lewin offers professional advice on how to defuse the tricky situation.
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Source: Briefly News
Maryn Blignaut (Human-Interest HOD) Maryn Blignaut is the Human Interest manager and feature writer. She holds a BA degree in Communication Science, which she obtained from the University of South Africa in 2016. She joined the Briefly - South African News team shortly after graduating and has over six years of experience in the journalism field. Maryn passed the AFP Digital Investigation Techniques course (Google News Initiative), as well as a set of trainings for journalists by Google News Initiative. You can reach her at: maryn.blignaut@briefly.co.za
Kelley Nele (Relationship and Sex Educator) Kelley Nele is a Relationship and Sex Educator and writer. She has been coaching individuals for 5 years and edifying people on foundational and advanced topics within the realm of dating, relationships, sex and sexuality via her writing for 2 years. She has successfully written engaging and insightful content for the following publications: Reader’s Digest UK, LGBTQ+ Nation, TransLash and Metro UK.
