Xhosa Makoti Shares Heartbreaking Experiences, Mzansi Women Offer Support: “I Used To Cry Every Time We Went”

• A young Xhosa described how she was bullied by other makotis and vowed never to let her daughters go through the same thing
• Other South African women shared their experiences as makotis and offered helpful tips
• Some suggested hiring a catering company or enlisting the help of friends and family
• The makoti told Briefly News that she used to shed tears each time she and bae had to visit her in-laws

A young woman shared her experiences of being a Makoti, and South African women showered her with supportive words and helpful tips.

The woman's experiences are daily in South Africa, where makotis are expected to jump through hoops in performing their duties to their husbands' families.

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Woman shares harsh conditions of being makoti in SA

The Xhosa woman's caption was heart-wrenching as she vowed never to allow her daughters to go through the same experiences.

In her video, which reached over 800K views, @abomrsg is shown collecting water from a three-foot fire pot outside while trying not to breathe in the smoke from the fire. Firewood is strewn all around her as she is dressed in clothing typical of women in rural villages. Her caption reads:

"Makotis in this village don't come to help you but to bully you. I'm just holding on to bury my mother-in-law in dignity. No daughter of mine will go through such."

The relationship between Makotis and their in-laws has always been complex and controversial. Makotis are either wholly welcomed into their families with open arms, or in-laws mistreat them.

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There is even a makoti boot camp which teaches young African women to embrace their roles as Makotis in their spouses' families.

Makoti shares her experience with Briefly News

Abongile Gwanya, who has been married for six years, told Briefly News that being a makoti is tough.

"I used to cry whenever my husband and I had to go home. It feels like I'm back in high school. They other makotis expect you to attend everything even though you don't stay there. They go as far as body-shaming me. My husband is a very supportive man. He suggested that I stop going there because he knows when we come back from the rural villages, I'll be depressed," she said.

She also said that losing her mother-in-law brought her and her sisters-in-law closer.

"Losing my mother-in-law brought us closer. They are very supportive, and I have a beautiful relationship with my sisters-in-law. However, I don't see why someone's daughter should go through this just because she fell in love with someone. It's sad that they come and watch you instead of assisting you because when you ask them something, they (other makotis) laugh and talk behind your back."

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Watch the video here:

Mzansi women show makoti support on TikTok

TikTokkers also shared their experiences with being a makoti or observing other makotis close to them. Some also gave her advice.

1st lady Nontsikelelo said:

"I hired a catering company. I knew they were waiting for me. They sat in the grass. Jonga we fed them and even killed a sheep."

User3904543875916 commented:

"Darling, I am going through that right now, and I don't know anything about the Xhosa culture because I'm Zulu, and I'm trying."

MsKhloe_s pointed out:

"Next time, take your sisters and friends and get everything done."

Bella had a suggestion.

"Next time mntase, Search for Makoti Assist on Facebook. They will do all the work for you. Hang in there."

Wamkhulu sent love and light.

"The mothers and makotis from the villages can be cruel."

Zulu woman flaunts makoti duties on TikTok

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In a similar story, Briefly News reported that a young Zulu woman proudly performed her tasks as a makoti.

The woman shared on TikTok how she washed clothes at the river.

Netizens praised her dedication to upholding cultural practices in an increasingly modern era.

Source: Briefly News