“Not a Compliment”: SA Ladies Share How They Truly Feel When Men Call Them Wifey Material
- South African women got real about how tacky some compliments from men sound and how they make them feel
- One hun shared a role play expressing how a popular compliment from men makes her imagine her future
- The conversation kept going in a viral TikTok post that generated a thread of over 1.2K comments
- Briefly News reached out a feminist to better understand why women in the 21st century are not pleased with the “patriarchal compliment”
A lot of women live their lives trying to appeal to the male gaze with the hope of one day marrying their dream man.
Source: TikTok
The dream does not stop at marriage but expands into creating a family and living happily ever after, just like in a Disney fairytale.
SA ladies get real about compliments from men
It is very obvious how romantic relationships have evolved since the era of Titanic and The Notebook. The two films had hopeless romantics in a chokehold, wanting a similar love story but were disappointed by the behaviour of people in the 21st century.
Men in the modern world no longer stand outside a lady’s house with a boombox playing a love song in the rain. Instead, they ask for reciprocity and what the woman they fancy brings to the table.
A lady on TikTok led a conversation about how some compliments from men are cringy, like the popular one of being called “wifey material.” The hun imagined herself slaving away, cooking, cleaning and taking care of the children as soon as she hears the “compliment”:
“It feels like a slur.”
Mzansi women related to the hun's entertaining role play, which generated 321K views.
Watch the video below:
Feminist explains why being called a wife material is a slur
A feminist from the Western Cape, Onele Deleki, has been preaching about women's and children’s rights on social media and has become a prominent figure for young ladies. Deleki explained to Briefly News why the compliment “wifey material” is a slur in the 21st century:
“For many women, being called a “wife material “ is more of a slur than a compliment because, to them, it is degrading and undermining their womanhood. The term “wife material “ is associated with patriarchal values that expect women to give into men and domesticated, bear children and take care of both the husband and the kids. The reason why women see this as a slur is because the term doesn’t respect women as individuals with autonomy but rather the potential to be a wife.
“Women before us never saw this as a slur but rather saw it as a compliment and something to strive to be because they were taught to give into men and put themselves past, they had no dreams other than being someone’s wife. This generation of women was taught to put their dreams and aspirations first before men.
"Women no longer strive to be someone’s spouse because marriage benefits men more than it benefits women, but that’s a topic for another day. Women are more than just wife potentials, and they are definitely more than just child-bearers; they are individuals with their own dreams and aspirations that do not include being a wife and a mother.
“ Lastly, the term “wife material “ objectifies women; we are seen as objects that live to satisfy women, not as equals to them!
“Of course, not all women feel the same way about being called a wife material; some women do appreciate being called wife material because they believe in marriage and give in to men. However, it is important that we acknowledge that this is no longer the patriarchal era where women did not mind this term. It is imperative that we challenge patriarchal and misogynistic legacies so we can promote a world that respects women and sees them as equal to men, not just as potential wives but also as individuals with their own rights and ambitions.
“ Having these types of conversations is necessary so we can work towards dismantling stereotypes and patriarchal norms that are harmful to women. Being a woman is more than just being someone’s wife, and I hope the feminist movement will continue to help women recognise their worth outside marriage and help them to define what it means to be a woman that has decentered the idea of marriage.”
Mzansi ladies react to popular compliment from men
Social media users related to the video and commented:
@h🫧 stated:
"Wifey material is the main fabric used to make doormats."
@joysparkle0 explained:
“Wifey material is not a compliment, ladies; know this and know peace.”
@Mamiya wrote:
“Wife material is a fancy word for maid.”
@riri🎀 announced:
“I feel so degraded.”
@Mka Zwane commented:
“Wifey Material or strong woman, that's a life threat.”
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Source: Briefly News
