“I Draw the Line”: Joburg Woman Shares Where She Draws the Line With Family After Secret Competition
- A Joburg content creator shared how she experienced silence from family after buying her first car at 19 years old
- The woman said her wedding revealed secret animosity from family members, with cousins saying she wouldn't make it down the aisle
- South Africans related to her story, with many sharing their own experiences of family jealousy during major life events
Source: Instagram
A Joburg TikToker, @marjkupps, shared a video on 16 September 2025 about setting boundaries with family members who show secret competition or jealousy. The video was captioned:
"Family can be jealous too. I don't play with that."
In the video, the woman explained she experienced negativity after different successes in her life, not from strangers or friends but from her own family. She stated:
"Stay away from anybody who does not like you. Stay away from anybody that is in secret competition with you, and yes, this does include family."
The woman told a story about buying her first car at 19 years old after working for a year and a half. She said:
"I sent this picture to the group, family group, and silence. I got silence. And you know WhatsApp has that feature where you can see who's read the message, who's seen the picture and said nothing." She admitted she was naive back then and didn't connect the dots that maybe these people weren't happy for her. Eventually, people did say congratulations after an hour or two, but the damage was done.
She continued:
"It's only as I've gotten older and the signs have just sort of increased, especially with a wedding, guys. A wedding reveals so many things. Oh my gosh, especially with a wedding happening, and then you hear that other cousins are saying things about you, like they don't think you're gonna make it down the aisle."
The woman explained she now draws a firm boundary.
"I draw the line. I draw a boundary. I do not engage. You will not hear from me. You will not hear of me. You will know nothing about my life. The only thing you will know is my work, my social media. I'm like a dead person to you. I'm not engaging with family members that I'm just like, yeah, this is a little secret animosity here." The video went viral with over 26,000 reactions and over 500 comments.
Source: TikTok
Mzansi reacts to family boundaries
Netizens reacted to the video shared on TikTok user @marjkupps' page:
@AgnesNthabiseng wrote:
"Wedding, pregnancy, graduation... You will see who's who."
@Thapie_018 said:
"A wedding/lobola reveals a lot, especially cousins and aunts. You'll see that people have been silently resenting you."
@ThatoandPreciousKhu shared:
"Yoh. Bought a house, invited family for Christmas as a housewarming... Silence 😂 Only my in-laws and friends came. 🤣 Took a year to heal from that 😏."
@LoveLargo added:
"1 relative told me this year that she was angry with me because I didn't give her the VIP treatment she deserved during my mother's funeral in 2021... Speechless."
@NametsoKoma commented:
"My family refused to marry me off. They said they got married when they were 27+ years, so who am I to get married at 23 😭😭😭."
Is competition healthy or toxic?
According to experts at the University of Colorado Denver, competition is a powerful motivator for some, but the need to compete can also be discouraging. Competition is where external circumstances work as the driving force. It can boost productivity and inspire personal growth.
Psychologist Alice Schluger points out that constant competition can push people into comparing themselves with everyone around them, always searching for approval. Over time, this habit can chip away at how someone sees themselves, leaving them with lower confidence and a harsher self-image.
She explains that the goal isn’t to avoid competition altogether, but to approach it more healthily, by looking honestly at your own insecurities, recognising how far you’ve come, leaning into your strengths, and focusing on doing your personal best instead of trying to outdo everyone else.
Watch the TikTok clip below:
More family stories making waves
- Briefly News recently reported on a heartwarming story where a man who lost his only son four years ago became a grandfather through someone else.
- A university student shared a moving slideshow of what she bought with a single R50 deposit from her mother.
- New footage of Judy and Addie's traditional Xhosa wedding captured cute moments and rich cultural details that won hearts online.
Source: Briefly News
