Breaking the Cycle: Lady Wants To Find Love Again After 4 Heartbreaks, Relationship Expert Weighs In

Breaking the Cycle: Lady Wants To Find Love Again After 4 Heartbreaks, Relationship Expert Weighs In

  • A young lady shared that she had been cheated on four times in previous relationships
  • The woman wants to open herself up to love again, but due to the past men she dealt with, her confidence is low
  • Relationship expert Penny Holburn said the cheating was not her problem, it was the men she dated's fault
Anonymous wrote: "I am 20 years old and have been in four major relationships, which all ended due to cheating. I was so invested in each of these relationships, only for them to end with absolute heartbreak. When I asked my partners why they cheated, they avoided answering me. I find myself constantly blaming myself for how it ended, and now I'm too scared to pursue love again.
"The four partners who cheated all had similar personalities too. I'm always questioning why it ended in cheating. Was it my looks, my attitude, my personality? My self-esteem has taken a massive knock. What can I do to get my confidence back, and what can I do differently in my next relationship?"

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A woman is looking for love again after four heartbreaks.
A young lady who experienced four heartbreaks wants love to visit again. Image: @Jena Ardell
Source: Getty Images

Penny Holburn is an experienced coach specialising in life, career, and business coaching. She has been successfully running her own coaching business, Penny Holburn Life Coaching, since 2010. Penny has vast experience as a consultant in various fields, such as psychological assessment, organisational development and personal and business change, to name a few.

Expert says one has to realise one's worth in a relationship

Speaking to Briefly News, relationship expert Penny Holburn said the young lady is not responsible for her previous partners cheating and misbehaving. They own their behaviour, and they are accountable for it.

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However, she also pointed out that the lady needs to work on herself and get professional help to find the root of her choosing the same type of men.

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"She may need to do some work on her own self-esteem and self-worth, so she realises she is worthy of a better relationship - one where the partner will be faithful."

Partners drop hints on their actual character

Penny said that partners drop hints about their real character, good or bad, and the only thing one needs to do is recognise them.

"At the beginning of a relationship, we are still figuring someone out. We need to be aware of that when we fall in love, reason often goes out the window. She also needs to understand what cues she is missing.
"Partners do send signals of their behaviour and the kind of people they are, and she needs to learn how to recognise these signals. Then she needs to get out of the relationship."

She concluded that the previous partners were not interested in her mental well-being but in what they could get out of the relationship.

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Disclaimer: Advice given in this article is general and is not the views of Briefly News. It is not intended to influence a reader's decisions. Readers are advised to seek professional help before making any decisions.

Do you have a story to tell? Want an expert's advice? Please email us at with 'Ask an expert' in the subject line.

Married woman caught with a Tinder profile

In a previous article, Briefly News wrote that a woman's husband's best friend found her Tinder profile and her husband wanted a divorce.

Relationship expert Penny Holburn told the woman that this could be considered an emotional affair and advised her to try to work the relationship out if it was once in a good place.

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Source: Briefly News

Sinothando Siyolo avatar

Sinothando Siyolo (Editor) Sinothando Siyolo is a Human Interest Writer at Briefly News. He holds a Bachelor of Arts (BA) degree from the University of Cape Town (UCT), with majors in Media and Writing, Politics and Governance. Before joining Briefly, Sinothando worked as a Content Producer for Hibari Media and as a News Content Producer for The South African (TSA). He has the ability to write across various sections - News, Human Interest, Politics, Entertainment, and Business. He joined Briefly in 2023. You can contact Sinothando at

Penny Holburn avatar

Penny Holburn (Founder of Penny Holburn Coaching) Penny Holburn is a life, career and business coach running her own coaching business since 2010. She has spent 20 years as a consultant in psychological assessment, organisational development, personal and business change, leadership development, coaching and counselling. Penny has majors in psychology and industrial psychology and an MSc Cum Laude in psychology and has completed a Senior Management Development Programme through Wits Business School.

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