“Got To Have a Thick Skin”: Steven Shares Adoption Story of Being Raised by White Family in Video

• Steven Ayanda opened up about growing up as a Black child raised by a white family who "adopted" him
• He shared both the positives of his upbringing and the challenges he faced while growing up differently in South Africa
• Years later, life came full circle as he now raises a child of his own while being in an interracial marriage
• Briefly TV Life got an exclusive interview where Steven unpacked his unique life story that inspired many

Steven Ayanda had a unusual childhood as a Black child raised by a white family in South Africa. He got candid about the experience shaped the man and father he is today.

In a sit-down interview shared with Briefly TV Life on 9 December 2025, Steven reflected on being taken in at the age of two by the Balmahn family who raised him on a farm outside East London. They employed his biological mother and stepped in after seeing the environment he was growing up in.

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Steven explained that his biological mother struggled with alcoholism and abusive relationships. The instability made it unsafe for a child. She could also not manage parental responsibilities such as school fees.

“They saw the type of environment I was living in. It was toxic to raise a child in.”

Although there was no formal adoption, Steven said he became part of the family in every way that mattered. He grew up alongside their seven children, attended the same schools and shared daily family life on the farm.

Experience being adopted by a white family

He said being raised by a white family came with both positives and negatives. Farm life gave him stability, structure and freedom. He fished in the river, worked the land and grew up speaking Afrikaans. But at school and in public spaces, he stood out. People stared, whispered and sometimes accused the family of stealing him.

Steven said judgment came from all sides, across racial lines. There were moments of anger and confrontation, but he learned resilience over time. Growing up in a Christian household also helped him navigate those experiences.

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“You’ve got to have a thick skin. You deal with it and move on. Having the Lord in my life helped the most.”

At the same time, Steven maintained a relationship with his biological mother and stayed connected to his African roots. He said that balance helped him understand who he is today.

“I try to go home at least once a year. It helps me stay in touch with that side of who I am.”

Watch the YouTube video below:

Reconnecting with a high school sweetheart

Now married and raising children of his own, Steven finds himself reflecting as life has come full circle. He sees parts of his own story in his eldest son, whom he has raised since the age of two.

That became clear when he spoke about his relationship with his wife, Shanette Balmahn. The two first met in 2009 through mutual friends. Back then, nothing romantic came of it.

Steven was younger, outgoing and very much in his party phase. Shanette, still in high school then, saw him only as a friend. Years later, life brought them back together.

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In 2016, a simple selfie posted online reopened the door. A comment led to a conversation, and soon after, they began dating.

By then, Shanette was a single mother. Steven had settled and knew what he wanted. Shanette said:

“He brought this big cloud of energy and fun into my life. That’s what initially attracted me.”

Coparenting in an interracial family

Shanette told him plainly that she was not dating for fun, so he chose commitment immediately. Steven met Shanette’s son, Raiden, early on in their relationship, and they formed a bond almost instantly.

Soon, Regan began calling Steven “Eevee,” unable to pronounce his name properly. For Steven, stepping into the role of a father and an interracial relationship felt natural. Being raised in a large, loving adoptive family made the decision easier. He said:

“I know what it’s like, I’ve lived it.”

Viewers took to the comments section on Briefly TV Life’s YouTube page to share their thoughts.

@Nicole-W-1 said:

"This is the South Africa that I love and want my children to grow up in. Just beautiful!"

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@pontamike commented:

"Steve you have grown up to be a beautiful person, well done."

@eleanorjoshua9646 wrote:

"I am happy for you, young man. Keep appreciating your adoptive family while still loving your mum."

@AnnaGrobler-h4x commented:

"A truly humble and loving young man. God bless you. Preach love and respect among the nations , a servant of Christ."

@Christdiedforoursins1Corinthia added:

"Amazing and the best situation because he could still know his mom but was protected from her alcoholism. Comes across as a very grounded person."

3 More adoption stories featured by Briefly News

• A man shared his deeply personal journey of adoption, revealing the difficult circumstances that led him to run away from his adoptive parents and rethink what family means.
• An adopted child shared how hurtful assumptions and complex family dynamics caused deep emotional scars.
• A 23-year-old shared his adoption story in a viral TikTok video, opening up about being raised by a white family and the challenges that came with it.

Source: Briefly News