"My Fiancé Demands I Uninvite My Wealthy Parents to Our Wedding": Bride in Tears, Expert Weighs in
- A 32-year-old bride-to-be is caught in the middle of a fight between her wealthy parents and fiancé, who is demanding they uninvite her mom and dad to the wedding
- The woman revealed her loaded parents refuse to foot the bill for the wedding because they don't like her choice of life partner
- In return, her future husband said if her parents can't pay or accept him, they are not allowed to come to the wedding
- Relationship expert Shelley Lewin spoke to Briefly News and offered professional advice on how to defuse the situation
Source: Getty Images
An anonymous 32-year-old bride wrote: “My heart is in tatters as I write this. My fiancé has demanded that we univinte my parents to our wedding. The ultimatum has led to nights of figthing and with me feeling torn.
"Like every little girl, I have dreamed about my wedding and all my visions included my mom and dad. But, my fiancé made it clear it is him or them. My parents are loaded and can afford to pay for my wedding, but they refuse to because they don't like my fiancé.
"My fiancé said since they won't contribute, there are only two options going forward: either we pay and exclude my mom and dad from the big day, or there's no wedding. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. I want my my parents there and I don't want to lose the love of my life. Is there a way we can sort out our differences?”
Relationship expert's advice on resolving conflict
Shelley Lewin is a relationship expert and founder of 'The Relationship Architect Coaching and Education'. Lewin is a certified SACAP counsellor who has been helping people since 2006 through bespoke processes for intra-personal and inter-personal development.
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Speaking to Briefly News, Shelley Lewin offered the desperate bride-to-be six helpful tips on defusing a difficult family situation. Lewin's tips range from finding the root of the issue to listening and setting boundaries.
7 Tips to work out conflict between your partner and parents
Lewin shared a conflict-resolution strategy that aims for an outcome where relationships are mended and all parties are happy.
1. Be the mediator
Lewin advised the woman to sit down with both her parents and fiancé separately and express her desire for them all to be involved in the wedding.
"Encourage open and honest communication where each party can share their concerns and feelings without judgment."
Professional help is sometimes needed when the issue is too big to resolve. Lewin explained:
"If problem-solving proves difficult or tensions are too high to find agreement, consider seeking the help of a professional counsellor or mediator who can facilitate productive discussions and help all parties work through their differences."
2. Listen to understand each perspective
Lewin explains getting to the root of the problem is the key to coming up with a solution. She recommended trying to understand the root cause of the tension between her parents and fiancé.
"Are there specific reasons why your parents don't approve of him? Are there misunderstandings or misconceptions that need to be addressed? Understanding each other's perspectives can help in finding common ground."
3. Find the negotiables
Shelley suggested exploring compromises that could satisfy everyone involved.
"For example, is there the possibility of your parents contributing partially to the wedding while respecting your choice of partner?
"Alternatively, perhaps your fiancé could agree to mend fences with your parents if they contribute in part to the wedding expense? What is required to create a positive shift between them?"
4. Set boundaries with your parents and partner
When the people in your life are fighting over you as a means to control you, it's important to set clear boundaries and have everyone involved understand that you alone have control over life decisions. Lewin told Anonymous not to let anyone intimidate or control her:
"Make it clear to both your parents that while you value their opinions and input, the final decision regarding your life partner is yours to make. If they are threatening financial intimidation to sway your opinion, there is an attempt to control the situation rather than support you as a daughter.
"Equally, if your partner threatens to isolate you from your parents on a special milestone, there is an attempt to control you rather than partner with you in this challenge. You are caught in the middle. Ultimately, prioritise what feels right for you and your future spouse, while also striving to maintain positive relationships with your parents."
5. Stay Focussed on the 'big picture'
"Remind everyone involved that the wedding is just one day, and what truly matters is the strength of the relationships in the long term. Encourage everyone to focus on building a positive future together rather than dwelling on past conflicts and who is right."
6. Stay positive
Lastly, Lewin details the importance of entering the discussions and problem-solving strategies with the right mindset:
"Finally, approach the situation with optimism and a willingness to find solutions. While it may be challenging, with patience, understanding and compromise, it's possible to mend relationships and create a memorable wedding day that includes all those you love."
Disclaimer: Advice given in this article is general and is not the views of Briefly News. It is not intended to influence a reader's decisions. Readers are advised to seek professional help before making any decisions.
Do you have a story to tell? Want an expert's advice? Please email us at contact@briefly.co.za with 'Ask an expert' in the subject line.
Married mother of 4 feels like single parent, expert offers advice
From one family drama to another, a stay-at-home mother contacted Briefly News for advice on how to talk to her high-earning husband who only "works and sleeps".
The mom of four feels guilty for getting upset that her hardworking husband doesn't help more with the kids and house chores, but she admitted to feeling overwhelmed.
Relationship expert Shelley Lewin advised that women who need more support with child-rearing should communicate openly and assertively with their partners.
Source: Briefly News
