Co-parenting Pains and Healing Waves: South African Mom Gets Real About Single Parenting Struggles

Co-parenting Pains and Healing Waves: South African Mom Gets Real About Single Parenting Struggles

  • A South African woman shared a video where she addressed some of the challenges of being a single mother
  • In the video, she speaks about co-parenting, yearning for stability for her children and trying to heal from her failed relationship
  • Parenting expert, Jonathan Hoffenberg told Briefly News that it is imperative that single mothers build a good support system
  • The video resonated with many South African mothers who are dealing with the unfortunate reality of single parenthood
single mom
A single mother posted a video on social media sharing the challenges she faces. Image: @growingseedsa
Source: Instagram

A South African mom took to social media to share three things she doesn't like about being a single parent.

Single mom shares her pains

@growingseedsa posted a TikTok video of her preparing a delicious breakfast for her family as she shared some of the hardships she faces in single motherhood.

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She listed co-parenting with the father of her child as one of the challenges.

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"A lot of times we remain with each other, but there's also a lot of times when the disputes are draining, and I wish we could just do better at communicating," @growingseedsa shared.

She also addressed the issue of instability for the children.

"Man, I yearn for the stability of our children being raised under one roof with bith parents present. That's what I grew up with for all my childhood and prayed for my kids to also have, but we're here now and I have to create some kind of stability in this situation."

Grieving the past is also something that the single mother opened up about, sharing how she is often triggered by the past just when she's convinced that she's healed.

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"It's like a wave of shock that comes to let me know that healing is not linear."

See the video below:

Parenting expert sheds light on how single mom's can cope

According to Parenting Expert, Jonathan Hoffenberg, single moms face a lot of shame and guilt that is reflective of our still sexist society and default views that the “nuclear family” is the norm, the reality however, more children live with single mothers than with 2 parents.

"Single mom’s however, should not consider the need to be both mom and dad. Moms need to be moms and if their children cannot have a relationship with their dads seek out and be mindful of positive adult male role models that can offer a replacement.
"There is the term called “social fathers” which can be filled by a grandfather, extended family like uncles, and positive role models in the community (the pastor, the soccer coach, the scoutmaster, the community centre youth care worker)," Jonathan explains.

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He added that single moms are more prone to burnout and should focus on support structures that let them have respite (time away from having to care) ideally weekly.

Jonathan also sought insight from single mothers who explained that it is imperative that single mothers build a good support system.

"Single mothers should be encouraged to reach out to available resources, to alleviate the feelings of guilt and shame in asking for assistance.
"Employees should also be more understanding of the needs of single mothers and consider the possibility of hybrid working environments," the women said.

SA relates to the single mom's struggles

The video resonated deeply with many South African mothers, who shared their own experiences and offered support.

RitaBaybay commented:

"Yoh, I felt the single parenthood the most when I needed to attend the pre-school meeting and I came alone whilst others came with the dads. My eyes were shiny with tears the entire meeting."

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MamaNtiyeselo replied:

"I am a drained single mom of two."

Nokuthula Mvelase responded:

"It’s crazy how I also wanted to have a kid with someone I’ll spend my life with now I’m a single mom longing for my child to have father figure which I also had."

osego182 replied:

"I can relate to this on so many levels. I have prayed for healing but the trigger just come unexpectedly, then it’s like I’m just unable to let go."

NEZ Zikalala replied:

"Growing in a household with both parents and finding yourself a single mom is one of the hardest. Your video is talking about me."

pali_zama wrote:

"As a 22-year-old mom going through this, I can say it’s honestly the most tricky part of my life I’ve ever had to deal with."

Palesa Pali Boo commented:

"Kule post kunzima we multi-task read and watch. Love and light to you and other single moms ♥"

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Single mom builds home for her kids

In another story, Brielfy News reported that TikTokker @snezzy200's mom overcame significant obstacles to provide her kids with a safe and loving home.

Many viewers of TikTokker's most recent video were moved to tears. She documents the start-to-finish process of building a house for her family, something that her mother had worked hard to provide for her family.

In her post, @snezzy200 explained the heartbreaking story that had left her family without a home.

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Source: Briefly News

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