“Painful but True”: Woman Gets Real About the Struggle of Raising Stepchildren, SA Relates

“Painful but True”: Woman Gets Real About the Struggle of Raising Stepchildren, SA Relates

  • A woman sparked a heated debate after sharing the struggles of raising a stepchild and how difficult it was to discipline them without backlash
  • She posted a TikTok video detailing how stepkids often feel targeted even when treated fairly, making it tough for stepparents to navigate parenting
  • Social media users had mixed reactions, with some sharing their struggles, while stepkids weighed in, saying they had great relationships with their stepmoms
Some TikTok users took to a lady's comment section to share that they made their stepmom's lives miserable growing up
A woman detailed the pain of tip-toeing around a stepchild not wanting to look like a bad parent. Image: @zenandebanzana0924
Source: TikTok

Raising a child is already tough, but raising someone else's child adds an extra later of complexity. A woman took TikTok to open up about the harsh realities of being a stepmom, explaining how stepkids often perceive discipline as unfair treatment.

The video was posted under the TikTok handle @zenandebanzana0924, where it gained massive views and comments from people who could relate to her struggles.

Parenting a stepchild is not easy

In her video, @zenandebanzana0924 explains how stepkids can sometimes make things hard for their stepmothers. Even when treated fairly, they may feel like they're being singled out. She adds that stepmoms often hesitate to discipline stepkids the way they would with their biological children, rearing accusations of cruelty.

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She even adds that if you haven't been dragged for being a wicked stepmother on social media, then you haven't truly lived the experience.

Watch the TikTok video below:

SA comment on the stepkids topic

The post triggered a heated discussion, with many stepmoms agreeing and sharing their own experiences of being misunderstood. Others who raised their siblings' kids also chimed in, saying they could relate to the challenges. On the other hand, some stepkids spoke up, sharing that they had wonderful relationships with their stepmoms and never felt like outsiders.

Social media users resonated with a lady's intake on raising non-biological kids
A lady got Mzansi stepmothers detailing how their partners' kids ill-treat them in their marriages after sharing a post about the topic. Image: @zenandebanzana0924
Source: TikTok

User @noziphondolele shared:

"This is painful but true: I have a stepmom. She wasn't perfect, but I still wouldn't accept her even now. I wish she hadn't broken up my mom's marriage; maybe then I could appreciate her."

User @BabalwaMavuso added:

"I'm raising my sister, she's 7 years younger than me. Our parents never raised me and I only stayed with her after her mother's death last year… she wants everything my man buys for me she even got.'

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User @poppiekhumalo asked:

"Sis can you open a platform of us struggling step mothers? 😢 Siyabhubha sisi (we are dying sis).

User @ovayo 🌻commented:

"This is true. I’m a stepdaughter myself and most of the time I used to blame her for everything.. Kuningi marn but ke I was never fair kuye but now ndikhulile I realised it and ke kunzima."

Use @barrel shared:

"Your approach is very wrong "umntwana wangaphandle (a child from the outside), stepchild, umntana wendoda (the man's child)."

User @Donut🍩said:

"If the stepmom is wonderful the child is evil, if the stepmother is evil the child is wonderful. Hleli kuba ama opposite nje. This life has no balance 😒."

Building trust before disciplining stepchildren

Disciplining stepkids can be tricky. Experts suggest discussing things with your partner to ensure you're both on the same page regarding rules and consequences. Enforcing discipline should always be agreed upon with the biological parents.

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The best way to approach this is by building a relationship with your stepkids first. It shows them you care about their interests and feelings. Try not to compare them to their biological siblings or bring up past mistakes. Every kid is different, so be patient.

When it's time for discipline, keep it calm and respectful. Harsh punishments won’t get you far. And remember, this takes time. Stick with it, stay patient, and don’t be afraid to seek help if needed.

3 Briefly News articles about parents and kids

  • A father took his son to a car dealership and his stepmom surprised him with a brand-new car, leaving him jumping up and down in excitement.
  • Two mothers with kids from the same man took their children out on a date as a way for them to form a bond, and online users praised them for their maturity.
  • A young babe juggling studies and parenting shared a video of her toddler acting up and tearing her notes as tried to study.

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Hilary Sekgota, human interest head of desk at Briefly News, contributed to this article.

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Source: Briefly News

Authors:
Bongiwe Mati avatar

Bongiwe Mati (Human Interest Editor) Bongiwe Mati is a Human Interest reporter who joined Briefly News in August 2024. She holds a Bachelor of Arts Honours degree from the University of the Western Cape. Her journalism journey began in 2005 at the university newspaper. She later transitioned to marketing and sales at Leadership Magazine under Cape Media (2007-2009). In 2023, she joined BONA magazine as an Editorial Assistant, contributing to digital and print platforms across current news, entertainment, and human interest categories. Bongiwe can be reached at bongiwe.mati@briefly.co.za

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