Woman Inspires with Her Story of Overcoming GBV, Wants to Empower Other Survivors
- A local woman is an inspiration to South Africans after heading online to share how she overcame an abusive relationship
- The brave survivor explains how she found comfort in an older man after finding out that tertiary education was not an option for her
- Today, the young lady is hoping to encourage other women out of similar situations and help them pursue their dreams
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A local woman is hoping to encourage SA ladies after sharing how she overcame an abusive relationship. The young woman lost her dad at a very young age and, without the financial means to build a life of her own, decided to seek out a father figure in her partner.
Source: UGC
Heading to LinkedIn, Rofhie Nethengwe candidly opened up about her experiences.
The young woman had always known a life of hardship as Nethengwe's father died while her mom still carried the little girl in her womb. Hoping to attend university one day, Nethengwe's sister advised her against the decision as there was no money for either one of their education.
"I passed with a bachelor pass but didn't have any plans." she says.
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Disappointed and left without much to occupy her time, the young lady found comfort in the arms of an older man. Nethengwe says she felt spoilt rotten and like she was finally receiving all the love she had missed out on after losing her dad.
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But it was not meant to last.
"I thought it was love and I moved in with him because education was not an option, the guy started cheating on me, when I approached him he hit me, I became a victim of gender-based violence at a young age," she writes.
Finding the will to leave her abuser one day, the young woman says she made the choice to pursue an education despite not knowing where the funds would come from. By the grace of God, her plans came together and benefactors made it possible for the young woman to study International Relations at the University of Venda.
Today, Nethengwe only hopes her story will inspire other young women to get out of abusive relationships and pursue their dreams despite the challenges.
Woman opens up about tough relationship with mom, shares how she found healing
In some more relationship news, Briefly News previously reported that a local woman has opened up about her often difficult relationship with her mother.
Speaking exclusively with Briefly News, Phumzile Grace Ntshabele says she had been damaged by the advice given to her by her mother. Growing up as an awkward teen, the young woman was encouraged to use her body as a means of acquiring food and other items for the household.
Today, the inspiring young woman shares how she found healing and some advice for anyone going through a similarly difficult parent-child relationship.
Check out the interview below:
Early life, upbringing, education
"My name is Phumzile Grace Ntshabele. I'm a mother of 2, aged 40 and I grew up in the Eastrand, in a Township called Tsakane. I had 3 siblings and we, unfortunately, lost my eldest Brother Mandla to suicide when I was 13 years.
"I was a bit of an introvert growing up, you would hardly find me in the streets or mingling with other kids. I was always told that I was too dark and too skinny by my family and friends, this lead to an underlying issue of low self-confidence. "
Later, Phumzile would build her confidence by walking in pageants. The beauty queen boasts many titles including Miss Secondary Schools, second Princess Kaizer Chiefs.
She went on to open up about her relationship with her mother. Phumzile shared that from a young age, her mother encouraged the beautiful teenager to exchange sexual favours for groceries and other desired items.
"My relationship with my mother growing up was fine until she wanted me to start using my boyfriends through sex to buy groceries and some of the things that were needed in the home (this is where our issues began).
"I believed mothers were there to nurture and protect their children, but I found my situation to be different and I was strongly against the advice my mother was giving me...
"I, later on, realised that my mother's love was always driven by material things, so when I won most of the pageants I entered, I would win gifts and all those gifts went to my mother because I wanted her love and approval but these gifts were never enough for her. She would re-gift them at family and friends' weddings."
Have you and your mom managed to reconcile, and if yes, how did you fix the relationship?
"No. I had made several attempts to but the last attempt lead to her uttering in her own words that she hated me and that I was buying her love.
"I decided to give her space from that point onwards but I still have hopes of reconciliation though it would take a great intervention. In my heart, I have let go of any bitterness I held towards her. She is my mother after all and I will always long for a happy and healthy relationship with her."
Speaking about the impact their poor relationship has had on Phumzile, the young woman shared that at one point she, unfortunately, found herself in the very cycle her mother had encouraged.
What impact did your relationship with your mother have on you and how have you grown?
"I tried as hard as I could to avoid falling into her advice but because of desperation at one point in my life, fell into the very same trap she wanted me to fall into.
"I slept with a man I didn't love just so that I could pay rent and make it through school to the next month," she explained.
More than anything, Phumzile wants all women to know they can rely on one another and works hard to protect her sisters from a similar fate. She's encouraging local ladies to support one another business ventures especially.
"I've learnt to protect other women, even strangers. I do not ever want to see any woman fall into the trap I fell into, it's still an embarrassing and shameful truth to share but I have to share.
"If we support each other as women (in whatever way we can), we can protect each other from facing such difficult and testing situations."
What advice can you give other South Africans who have troubled relationships with their parents?
"It's such a tricky question because every relationship requires work from both parties. I personally think it's important for parents to realise that there is no parenting manual (I speak to myself too when I say this) we all need some form of assistance and support but one of the building blocks is for us to listen to our children and not become dictators. Their opinions and feelings matter too, give them a platform to be free to express themselves with you so you can nurture the relationship. "
Source: Briefly News
