“Moving Abroad Is Hard”: SA Man Opens Up About Life Away From Home
- A South African man living overseas opened up about the emotional and mental toll of leaving home behind
- He reflected on how higher salaries don’t always translate into a better or happier life, while talking about being homesick
- His message resonated with many who feel caught between chasing opportunity and holding on to a sense of belonging
- Briefly News spoke to Sithabile Ndelu, a South African living in Japan, and Marnuscha, a South African based in the United States, who both opened up about the emotional weight of building a life far from home
The video didn’t try to preach or scare anyone; it simply captured the quiet loneliness that can come with building a life far away from everything that once felt like home.
Source: TikTok
South African DJ @jayfunkdj shared a heartfelt video on 3 January 2026, opening up about the emotional challenges of moving abroad. In the clip, he addressed how people often casually say they want to leave South Africa without fully understanding what that decision means. While acknowledging that overseas opportunities can bring better income, he spoke honestly about loneliness, adjustment struggles and how deeply he misses home.
Beyond finances, his message touched on identity and belonging. Living abroad often means starting from zero socially and emotionally, learning new systems, cultures and ways of life. Even with South Africa’s issues, he reminded viewers that familiarity, community and cultural connection hold weight that money cannot replace.
The reality behind the dream of leaving South Africa
The video by user @jayfunkdj resonated because it challenged the glossy image of life overseas. Many South Africans are constantly told that leaving is the ultimate solution, so hearing someone speak openly about the emotional cost felt refreshing and real.
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Mzansi responded with empathy, with many agreeing that South Africa, despite its struggles, remains home at heart. The video sparked reflection rather than argument. Most people also shared their stories about moving abroad, but being homesick.
Sithabile told Briefly News that the most painful part of living abroad has been dealing with loss from a distance.
“The hardest part of being away from South Africa is losing family members. I’ve lost two cousins during my three-year stay in Japan. It was really hard because I wanted to go home to support my family, but flights are so expensive. You end up facing grief alone.”
Sithabile explained that being abroad means missing critical moments back home, even during times of mourning. She also added that two of her friends lost their fathers while studying abroad and could not attend the funerals.
“Back home, family goes through everything together, but when you are abroad, you face it by yourself and cannot even fly home. You feel helpless. We tried our best to support them, but not everyone has that kind of support. Some people grieve alone.”
According to Sithabile, anyone considering moving abroad should understand that life continues back home regardless of distance.
“People will pass on, get married and experience major life events, and there is nothing we can do about it. It’s important to mentally prepare yourself for all kinds of possibilities before moving abroad.”
She also admitted that homesickness hits hardest during the festive season.
“South Africa has a different vibe around Christmas. I remember my first Christmas in Japan. I had a meeting with my supervisor and couldn’t believe I had to go to university on Christmas. It made me realise that the holiday season is not the same everywhere.”
Living in Japan has also shifted how she views South Africa, pointing to crime and safety.
“South Africa is beautiful, but we have normalised things that are not normal. In Japan, you can forget your phone somewhere and still find it later. As a woman, you can walk alone early in the morning without fear. Those experiences really change your perspective.”
Meanwhile, Marnuscha, who lives in the United States, echoed the emotional challenges of being far from loved ones.
“The hardest thing for me is when I need emotional support, and I can’t just go over to a friend or my parents. Even calling is difficult because of the time difference.”
She added that homesickness often resurfaces during holidays, when family gatherings back home become more visible. Despite the challenges, Marnuscha believes living abroad has helped her grow.
“Living abroad has made me realise how much I love South Africa. It has helped me grow in the best ways possible. I’ve realised how strong I am because I’ve been fighting so many battles on my own.”
Reflecting on her journey, she admitted she never imagined becoming the person she is today.
“If someone told me a year ago that I would be living this life and becoming this version of myself, I wouldn’t have believed them.”
Source: TikTok
Here’s what Mzansi said
Moza wrote:
“Eyh moved to Edenvale 6months back, it’s very different from Roodepoort, being outside of SA is difficult. 😭😭😭”
Greg wrote:
“As someone who has lived overseas before for nearly 20 years, and been back for over 14 years now, there’s no place like home. And nowhere else will ever truly feel like home.”
Athi.M said:
“Come home, brother! Let’s fix this country together. Eskom is an example of a big issue that we thought was impossible to resolve. Gen. Mkwanazi is trying, along with some good cops, to sort out our law enforcement. There is hope…”
Tanya said:
“Lived in England for 4 years, hated it! Moving back was the best decision I ever made. Where God guides, he provides. 🙌❤️”
MC wrote:
“I’ve been in the UK since November 2024, and it is hard. I miss SA a lot. Unfortunately, I’m just not settling into the country. 🥺”
AbiG said:
“You are absolutely right, there is no place like home. Been overseas, never ever spoke to my neighbours, was racially discriminated against twice and was told to go back to Mexico 🤔 where I came from, so I answered them back in Afrikaans if you know what I mean. 🤭”
Sonwabilemsomi1 said:
“Eish, Jay, I feel you, my brother. No braai and Biltong for you over there. 🤭 I always tell people that South Africa is the best country for us. I travel overseas twice a year, and it never convinces me to leave South Africa.”
Karel_o wrote:
“We’ve tried New Zealand and the USA, and there’s no place like SA. My kids can travel and/or emigrate one day if they want, but we’re not leaving again. 🇿🇦”
Thandimiso Kuhle Mthethwa wrote:
“Just come home. Despite our problems and differences, black, white, coloured, and Indian people can work together to make this happen… A South African remains a South African no matter what. We love you!”
Check out the TikTok video below:
3 Other Briefly News stories about living abroad
- A Mzansi woman living abroad shared a salary breakdown that revealed what teachers can earn in New Zealand across different experience levels.
- A South African woman’s post from South Korea sparked laughter and reflection after showing her new iPhone safely delivered to her doorstep.
- A South African man based in the US went viral after confidently attempting to speak Afrikaans during a casual interview.
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Source: Briefly News
