Who was Paul Reubens' husband or partner? Key facts about Pee-wee's personal life
Paul Reubens' husband was never in the picture, but he was linked to several women before he came out as gay after his death. The comedian, who rose to fame as Pee-wee Herman, ensured little was known about his personal life and sexuality. He said in his 2025 posthumous documentary Pee-wee as Himself:
I was out of the closet, and then I went back in the closet.
Source: Getty Images
TABLE OF CONTENTS
Key takeaways
- Pee-wee Herman was never married, although he had a mock wedding with Doris Duke's adopted daughter, Chandi Heffner.
- Paul Reubens' sexuality was kept a secret until over one year after his death, when he opened up about his personal life in his documentary.
- Pee-wee rose to fame entertaining kids, but Paul Reubens did not have children in real life.
Profile summary
Birth name | Paul Rubenfeld |
Comedy character | Pee-wee Herman |
Date of birth | August 27, 1952 |
Place of birth | Peekskill, New York, United States |
Date of death | July 30, 2023 |
Age at death | 70 years old |
Parents | Milton Rubenfeld, Judy Rosen |
Siblings | Abby Rubenfeld, Luke Rubenfeld |
Education | Boston University, California Institute of the Arts (BFA in Theatre) |
Profession | Actor, comedian |
Social media |
Pee-wee Herman's star came out as gay posthumously
Paul Reubens was part of the LGBTQ+ community, but he had kept his sexuality private his entire life. He talked about it for the first time in his documentary Pee-wee as Himself, which premiered in January 2025 at the Sundance Film Festival.
Earlier in his career, the comedian said that he had been in a relationship with a man called Guy, a painter from Echo Park in Los Angeles. He met him at his alma mater, California Institute of the Arts and "fell in love instantly." The couple lived together in a Los Angeles apartment.
When we split up, I just made a conscious decision [that] 'I'm not doing this again.' I not only wasn't going to be openly gay, but I wasn't going to be in a relationship.
Paul and Guy stayed in touch after breaking up. In the 1980s, the comedian went to visit him on his deathbed in New York when he was battling HIV/AIDS.
Source: Original
Why Paul Reubens went back into the closet
Guy's humour inspired Paul's signature Pee-wee character, but the famous comedian feared that his sexual orientation would have damaged his work as a kids' entertainer. He said that his goal was to pursue the Pee-wee Herman career and not the Paul Reubens career.
I hid behind an alter ego. I spent my entire adult life hiding... I was secretive about my sexuality even to my friends [out of] self-hatred or self-preservation. I was conflicted about sexuality. But fame was way more complicated.
Reubens maintained platonic friendships with women
In his posthumous documentary, Paul Reubens told director Matt Wolf that he had been in "many, many secret relationships" at the height of his career. He was also friends with several women, both in his fictional world as Pee-wee Herman and in real life. Some of the friendships sparked dating rumours.
Debi Mazar – Platonic relationship (1993)
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Actress Debi Mazar came into Pee-wee's life in 1993 when he was at his lowest. He was suffering from depression caused by his 1991 arrest for indecent exposure. The backlash from the arrest led to CBS cancelling reruns of Pee-wee's Playhouse, and Toys 'R' Us removed Pee-wee Herman dolls from their shelves.
Debi shared in a June 2018 interview with Andy Cohen that she was the one who got him out of the house, but admitted their love affair was purely platonic. Paul opened up about their relationship in a September 2010 Playboy interview, where he said:
What finally pulled me out of my shell the first time was that I fell in love. I met a woman, an actress—Debi Mazar—and was just so incredibly completely smitten that it was like, Boom, I'm back! It was so powerful; it was a gift. I would be all funky and dark, but she was able to just say a bunch of stuff to me, like 'Come on! Up, up, up, up!'
Paul Reubens never married Debi Mazar, but he continued talking highly about her. The actress found her life partner in Italian celebrity chef Gabriele Corcos, to whom she has been married since 2002.
Source: Getty Images
Chandi Heffner – Mock marriage (1989)
Chandi Heffner, the adopted daughter of the late billionaire Doris Duke, was Paul Reubens' pretend wife. The two met through their mutual friend, comedian Jim Nabors, in Hawaii.
Paul and Chandi had an impromptu mock wedding during a 1989 dinner party at Duke's Shangri-la estate. Reubens told Vanity Fair in 1999 that he still had the temporary marriage license signed by Imelda Marcos.
Valeria Golino – Rumoured
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Valeria Golino portrayed Paul Reubens' on-screen love interest, Gina Piccolapupula, in the 1988 movie Big Top Pee-wee. They sparked dating rumours in April 1988 when they attended the 60th Academy Awards together.
Their speculated romance was never confirmed. Golino was dating Puerto Rican actor Benicio del Toro around the same time. The actress has never been married but has been in several relationships with Italian Hollywood stars, including Peter Del Monte, Fabrizio Bentivoglio, Andrea Di Stefano, and Riccardo Scamarcio.
Source: Getty Images
Paul Reubens left behind two siblings
Reubens passed away on July 30, 2023, at the age of 70 after a six-year private battle with cancer. His cause of death was acute hypoxic respiratory failure. He had been diagnosed with acute myelogenous leukaemia and later had metastatic lung cancer.
The Pee-wee Herman star did not have kids or a spouse but had a caring family. His sister, Abby Rubenfeld, is an LGBTQ+ rights attorney who told Advocate in October 2025 that she always knew her elder brother was gay. Paul's younger brother Luke is a dog trainer.
Pee-wee Herman's family experienced loss in February 2004 when his father, Milton Rubenfeld, a former US Army pilot, died at the age of 84. Paul's mother, Judy, a former teacher, passed away in January 2019 at 90. Reubens' last wish was for his fans to donate to cancer, dementia, and Alzheimer's care in honour of his parents.
Source: Getty Images
Conclusion
Paul Reubens' husband not being part of his life was a sacrifice he made when he chose to remain closeted to protect his career. He said in his documentary that he wants to be remembered as someone whose whole career was "based in love".
READ MORE: Who is comedian Josh Johnson's wife?
Briefly.co.za highlighted facts about Josh Johnson's love life. The Daily Show host has a girlfriend whose identity he keeps private.
Josh has a degree in Lighting Design, but switched to performing and writing in 2012. He was a staff writer on The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon and The Daily Show with Trevor Noah.
Source: Briefly News
