Top 130+ no limit dark humour jokes that go way too far!
Generally, dark humour makes fun of topics that are considered taboo. For instance, they can make light of topics such as death, war, and sexuality, which are not always fun topics to discuss. Thus, dark humour jokes are not for everyone. Nonetheless, a little humour goes a long way.
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Most of the time, dark jokes make people uncomfortable. However, if you can twist them well, one will absolutely laugh and even learn one or two things from the jokes. In addition to being a little creative, you should know your audience well because these are not your normal jokes.
Funniest dark humour jokes
In most cases, a few people find black comedy funny because they go too far. However, comedy is a different field and can make fun of anything to make people laugh. Check out these funny but dark humour jokes to have a good laugh and get some conversation going.
- I just read that someone in London gets stabbed every 52 seconds. Poor guy.
- The other day, my wife asked me to pass her lipstick, but I accidentally passed her a glue stick. She still isn't talking to me.
- Did you fall from heaven? Because so did Satan.
- Tombstone engraving: I told you I was sick.
- You are not completely useless. You can always serve as a bad example.
- A man walked into a library and asked for a book on how to commit suicide. The librarian said, “no way, you will not bring it back!”
- To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner. They picked tacos. Then I made pizza because they do not live in a swing state.
- What is the difference between a hipster and a hockey player? A hockey player showers.
- You know you are getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you are down there.
- The best way to get most husbands to do something is to suggest that perhaps they are too old to do it.
- My grief counsellor died the other day. He was so good at his job I do not even care.
- Why were the orphan's first phone an iPhone X? Because there was no home button
- The doctor gave me one year to live, so I shot him with my gun. The judge gave me 15 years. Problem solved.
- “I am sorry” and “I apologize” mean the same thing. Except at a funeral.
- I just came across my wife’s Tinder profile and am so angry about her lies. Honestly, she is not “fun to be around”.
- Something bad was about to happen. My wife was being clever again.
- I just got my doctor's test results, and I'm really upset about it. Turns out I'm not going to be a doctor.
- As I get older, I remember all the people I lost along the way. Maybe my budding career as a tour guide was not the right choice.
- I admire these phone hackers. I think they have a lot of patience. I cannot even be bothered to check my OWN voicemails.
- I heard Sony is coming out with a new video game console to help us get through the pandemic. It's called the Plaguestation 5.
- Don’t challenge death to a pillow fight. Unless you’re prepared for the reaper cushions.
- I do not have a carbon footprint. I just drive everywhere.
- If you are not yelling at your kids, you are not spending enough time with them.
- You know you’re not liked when you get handed the camera every time they take a group photo.
- Today, I asked my phone, “Siri, why am I still single?” and it activated the front camera.
Best dark humour jokes about orphans
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If you have not found the best dark humour orphan jokes yet, here is another list to consider. They are funny but a little uncomfortable to tell to some people. So choose wisely.
- My parents raised me as an only child, which really angered my brother.
- Why don't orphans work as computer repair technicians? Because they can't find the motherboard.
- The older you get, the better you get. Unless you are a banana.
- Why don't orphans get offended by dark humour? Because it can't hit home
- I made a website for orphans. It doesn’t have a home page.
- What flour do orphans use when baking? Self-raising.
- Knock knock. orphan: Who is there? Not your parents
- Why are orphans bad at poker? They don’t know what a full house is.
- What do you call an 18-year-old orphan? Homeless.
- What did the one orphan say to the other orphan? Get in the Batmobile, Robin.
- What is the difference between a nose and an orphan? A nose gets picked more.
- Why do orphans love Oreos? Because when they have a family pack, they can eat it all.
- What's an orphan's least favourite type of music? House.
- How do you know an orphan is lying? When they swear on their mother's life.
- Why should cemeteries be built next to orphanages? So the orphans can see their parents.
Dark humour jokes for everyone
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Laughing at dark humour jokes can be regarded as insensitive by others. However, you should know that these jokes are not meant to provoke or insult anyone.
- As a man in a relationship, you have a simple choice. You can either be right, or you can be happy.
- Be wise because the world needs wisdom. If you cannot be wise, pretend to be someone wise, and then just behave as they would.
- I have a joke about trickle-down economics. But 99 per cent of you will never get it.
- The doctor gave me some cream for my skin rash. He said I was a sight for psoriasis.
- Do not challenge death to a pillow fight. Unless you are prepared for the reaper cushions.
- The most corrupt CEOs are the ones who run pretzel companies. They are always so twisted.
- My wife left a note on the fridge that said, “This is not working.” I am not sure what she is talking about. I opened the fridge door, and it is working fine!
- Imagine if you walked into a bar and there was a long line of people waiting to hit you. That is the punch line.
- What is the difference between Iron man and Iron Woman? One is a superhero, and the other is a simple command.
- You don’t need a parachute to go skydiving. You need a parachute to go skydiving twice.
- You can’t say that Hitler was bad through and through. He did kill Hitler, after all.
- An apple a day keeps the doctor away. Or at least it does if you throw it hard enough.
- I was reading a great book about an immortal dog the other day. It was impossible to put down.
- Why did the old man fall into the well? Because he could not see that well.
- Why do vampires seem sick? They are always coffins.
- My grandma has the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from the zoo.
- Why did the man miss the funeral? He wasn’t a mourning person.
- I visited my new friend in his apartment. He told me to make myself at home. So I threw him out. I hate having visitors.
- What is the difference between a Lamborghini and a dead body? I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage.
- What is red and bad for your teeth? A brick.
- They laughed at my crayon drawing. I laughed at their chalk outline.
- They say the surest way to a man’s heart is through the stomach. But I find going through the ribcage a lot easier.
- Why does Dr Pepper come in a bottle? His wife is dead.
- When I see the names of lovers engraved on a tree, I do not find it cute or romantic. I find it weird how many people take knives with them on dates.
- I threw a boomerang a few years ago. I now live in constant fear.
Deep dark quotes about life
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It is good for one to take life seriously, but adding some little fun to it makes it worthwhile living. And these jokes are all you need.
- Why are friends a lot like snow? If you pee on them, they disappear.
- Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not. So each is inevitably disappointed.
- Money can't buy you happiness, but it can buy you a yacht big enough to pull up right alongside it.
- Light and shadow are opposite sides of the same coin. We can illuminate our paths or darken our way. It is a matter of choice.
- Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.
- My wife is mad that I have no sense of direction. So I packed up my stuff and right.
- My grandfather says I’m too reliant on technology. I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.
- Life is like coffee, the darker it gets, the more it energizes.
- Prejudice is a great time-saver. You can form opinions without having to get the facts.
- Life is hard. After all, it kills you.
- People say money is not the key to happiness, but I have always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made.
- If, at first, you do not succeed, try again. Then quit. No use being a fool about it.
- Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity. And I'm not sure about the universe.
- When I was growing up, I always wanted to be someone. Now I realize I should have been more specific.
- Why take hours to drown when you can do it in a minute? Death can be kind if you allow it to be sometimes.
- I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the day he killed himself.
- Always borrow money from a pessimist. He will not expect it back.
- I am a marvellous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man, I keep his house.
- If, at first, you do not succeed, blame your parents.
- Despite my ghoulish reputation, I really have the heart of a small boy. I keep it in a jar on my desk.
- Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.
- Hope is being able to see that there is light despite all of the darkness.
- What is the whole point of being pretty on the outside when you’re so ugly on the inside?
- I have many jokes about unemployed people, but sadly none of them works.
- Why did the orphan sit alone in the corner? They wanted some family time.
Very dark humour jokes
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The fact that making jokes about taboo subjects are forbidden, these jokes will put a smile on your face no matter how hard you try not to. Have a look!
- If you cannot be kind, at least be vague.
- My therapist told me, “time heals all wounds!”. I stabbed him. Now we are waiting.
- Welcome to Dave’s orphanage. You make it, we take it
- Cremation: My last hope for a smoking hot body.
- I remember all the people I lost along the way as I get older. Maybe a career as a tour guide was not the right choice.
- The guy who stole my diary just died. My thoughts are with his family.
- What part of a vegetable can you not eat? The wheelchair.
- A man wakes from a coma. His wife changes out of her black clothes and remarks, “I really cannot depend on you in anything, can I?
- Do you know the phrase “One man’s trash is another man’s treasure”? Wonderful saying, horrible way to find out that you were adopted.
- If you donate one kidney, everybody celebrates you as a total hero. But donate five, and suddenly everyone is yelling.
- My psychiatrist told me I was crazy, and I said I want a second opinion. He said, ‘okay, you are ugly too.
- What do all suicide bombers have in common? None of them is willing to die alone.
- Why cannot Michael Jackson go within 500 meters of a school? Because he is dead.
- My mom died when we could not remember her blood type. As she died, she kept telling us to “be positive,” but it is hard without her.
- Say what you will about the ten commandments, you must always come back to the pleasant fact that there are only ten of them.
- My elderly relatives liked to tease me at weddings, saying, “You will be next!” They soon stopped, though, once I started doing the same to them at funerals.
- What’s an orphan’s favorite beer? Fosters.
- Want to know how you make any salad into a Caesar salad? Stab it twenty-three times.
- I hate double standards. Burn a body at a crematorium, you're "being a respectful friend." Do it at home, and you are "destroying evidence."
- What’s worse than biting into an apple and discovering a worm? Biting into an apple and discovering half a worm.
- Why is it wrong to bring fruit on a date without the other person’s consent? It contributes to grape culture.
- My favourite film is The Hunchback of Notre Dame. I love a protagonist with a twisted backstory.
- Why don’t cannibals eat clowns? Because they taste funny.
- Why is the USA bad at chess? They have already lost 2 towers.
- How can you tell your acne is really starting to get out of hand? The blind start reading your face.
Dark humour dad jokes
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A good dark humour joke is just obscene enough to be hilarious without going too far. But the point is, even though it could offend people around us, there are moments when we need to laugh at the unfair things life tosses at us with a well-delivered dark humour.
- Why did the computer go to bed? It needed to crash.
- Fathers take an extra pair of socks to golf in case they get a hole-in-one.
- What do you give the dentist of the year? A little plaque.
- How many apples can you grow on a tree? All of them.
- Why can't you trust an atom? Because they make up everything.
- Justice is a dish best served cold. If it were served warm, it would be just-water.
- I was going to tell a time-traveling joke, but you guys didn’t like it.
- What should you do to prevent dry skin? Use a towel.
- My dad left five years ago to get milk. I haven’t eaten cereal since.
- How do you make an eggroll? You push it.
- I've never been a fan of facial hair. But now it's starting to grow on me.
- Did you hear about the fire at the shoe factory? Unfortunately, many soles were lost.
- What kind of fish knows how to do an appendectomy? A Sturgeon.
- When does a joke become a dad joke? When it leaves you and never comes back.
- What do a man wearing baggy pants and a mouthy kid have in common? They both need a belt.
- Why did the man fall down the well? Because he couldn’t see that well.
- How do you get a dog to stay? Nail his feet to the floor.
- How do celebrities stay cool? They have many fans.
- What did the priest say to the altar boy? Nothing. His mother taught him not to talk with his mouth full.
- Where do you learn to make ice cream? At sundae school.
- What kind of shoes does a lazy person wear? Loafers.
- An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but a shotgun puts them down for good.
- Did you hear about the guy who afraid of hurdles? He got over it.
- My wife has been missing now for two weeks. The police said I should prepare for the worst. So, I told my new girlfriend that she had better move out.
What do you call dark humour jokes
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"What do you call" jokes are some of the funniest ones because they make you wonder what the possible answer could be. Check out these dark humour jokes you can share with your friends.
- What do you call a cheap circumcision? A rip-off.
- What do you call a fake dad? A faux pas.
- What do you call a deaf gynecologist? A lip reader.
- What do you call a disease with many followers? Influenza.
- What do you call a white girl that can run faster than her brothers? The redneck spinster.
- What do you call a serial killer who disembowels women and then falls, trying to walk through all the blood? Jack The Slipper.
What is a dark humour joke?
This is a type of humour that is considered taboo or inappropriate. It can be used to make light of serious or macabre topics, such as death, illness, or tragedy. Many people enjoy dark humor because it allows them to express their thoughts and emotions in a way that is both humorous and cathartic.
Who can use dark humour jokes?
Even while not everyone loves some jokes, dark humor jokes can be used by everyone, especially those who enjoy joking with one another.
Dark humour jokes are not everyone’s cup of tea. Some people will find them funny, while others will find them offensive because they touch on highly sensitive topics. However, they are meant to be fun. After all, life is for the living, and you do not have to take everything seriously.
Briefly.co.za published an inspirational post about best Adventure Time quotes. Adventure Time is an American fantasy animated television series. It tells the tale of a young boy named Finn and his best companion, a dog who has the enchanted power to transform into any shape or size.
The animated programme also offers a number of perceptive and applicable quotes. Examine some of your favourite characters' greatest Adventure Time quotes.
Source: Briefly News
