50+ hilarious wedding jokes and quotes that will crack you up

50+ hilarious wedding jokes and quotes that will crack you up

Wedding jokes can make the ceremony a lot merrier and fun, which is what it should all be in the first place. Your guests need to be entertained and one of the best ways to do this is to crack jokes. Fortunately, there are lots of jokes that can be used by the groomsmen, best man and even the couple or anyone else that wants to bring in a bit of fun to the whole process. Some of the most common ones are wedding MC jokes.

wedding jokes
Image: instagram.com, @thereallymarriedshow
Source: UGC

While there are many reasons why marriage jokes are used, the whole idea is to make the moment light and enjoyable. In fact, some of these jokes are used purposely to pass a message that would otherwise be too serious to convey. Check out the different jokes below to use for your friends wedding.

Wedding day quotes and jokes

As you plan for the wedding, think about using a few getting married quotes and jokes that will make people laugh. The idea of having a wedding, apart from exchanging vows, is to celebrate with those in attendance and have fun. This, therefore, means that you should be creative and come up with suitable jokes about marriage that everyone in attendance can identify with. Here are perfect examples to consider.

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  • They say a wife is less angry with some chocolate in her mouth. Never forget this trick man!
  • If there is one thing I have learnt over time is that when you are wrong and you shut up then you are a wise man. In the same manner though, when you are right and choose to keep quote then definitely you are married.
  • Look how everything turned out, brilliant right? Let's observe a minute of silence for the lilies, roses, and carnations that had to die for this moment to look this awesome.
  • I would like to give you all a headsup. It is not my fault that you may experience something awkward once the music starts, I was told by the doctors about 23 years ago that I may never dance properly again.
  • Well, I will start by thanking the following people for missing to attend since the cost of buffet per head goes down!
  • There is this trick every man should have at hand. When she gets really angry to hold her and remind her that you love her. If she growls like a bear, retreat quickly and throw her a piece of chocolate, it works all the time!
  • I know one thing for sure, that I will love you for the rest of my life darling wife. I pray that all the days to come will be as merry as this one, hopefully not as expensive though!
  • I would like to start by requesting that all the exits and entrances be made clear for the medical team outside to rush in as quickly as they can when we present my in-laws with the final wedding bill!
  • This one will work any day and any time, always keep the fights clean and your intimacy in the bedroom very dirty! This is a golden trick every married couple should master.
  • I would like to transfer some knowledge I just got from a friend I really trust. So, my brother and sister, it has been said by experts that the best secret in marriage is to argue naked. Try it out and let us know when we meet next!

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Best wife quotes and jokes for wedding

wedding jokes
Image: instagram.com,@vivadadista
Source: UGC

You can also check out Afrikaans jokes on weddings and add them to your list especially if you are attending a wedding where the couple understands it. You can be sure that jokes in Afrikaans sound funnier and will definitely crack everyone in attendance. Even so, make sure that as you list all the jokes that you will be cracking, a message that best suits the wife will be appreciated. Here are great examples to consider.

  • They say that love is blind but just note that marriage is an eye-opener. Get into it ready.
  • Show me a marriage with humour and I'll show you a healthy marriage.
  • I never knew what compost was until I met my husband.
  • Did you hear about the notebook who married a pencil? She finally found Mr. Write.
  • “A long marriage is two people trying to dance a duet and two solos at the same time.” —Anne Taylor Fleming
  • Its been an emotional day, check out the cake is also in tiers
  • “You don’t need to be on the same wavelength to succeed in marriage. You just need to be able to ride each other’s waves.” —Toni Sciarra Poynter
  • “A dress that zips up the back will bring a husband and wife together.” —James H. Boren
  • “Marriage is like vitamins: We supplement each other’s minimum daily requirements.” —Kathy Mohnke
  • “To keep your marriage brimming with love in the wedding cup, whenever you’re wrong, admit it; whenever you’re right, shut up.” —Ogden Nash

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Master of ceremonies wedding jokes

As the master of ceremony, you can throw in one or tow funny Afrikaans jokes depending on who is in the crowd. Either way, you need to have a few jokes lined up to break the monotony of the wedding speeches. As the MC, you must be jovial and entertaining. The best way to do this is to keep giving funny marriage advice and jokes. Research properly if you hope to keep the guests entertained.

  • Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards. (Benjamin Franklin)
  • My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way. (Henny Youngman)
  • Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience. - Anonymous
  • The best way to get most husbands to do something is to suggest that perhaps they're too old to do it. (Ann Bancroft)
  • Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all. - Anonymous
  • I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry. (Rita Rudner)
  • A man meets a genie. The genie tells him he can have whatever he wants, provided that his mother-in-law gets double. The man thinks for a moment and then says, 'OK, give me a million dollars and beat me half to death.' - Anonymous
  • Any husband who says. 'My wife and I are completely equal partners', is talking about either a law firm or a hand of bridge. (Bill Cosby)
  • The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once. - Anonymous
  • My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met. (Rodney Dangerfield)

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Wedding speech jokes

wedding jokes
Image: instagram.com, @mshaiq
Source: UGC

Speeches need to be fun too, especially if they are wedding speeches. Whether you are the best man or a friend to the bride, your speech should not be too serious. Remember that you must not be the master of funny Afrikaans quotes to entertain everyone. Keep it real and you will capture the attention of everyone. Check out the following examples you could try.

  • To the bride - She needs no eulogy - she speaks for herself.
  • Here’s to the groom, a man who keeps his head though he loses his heart
  • I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.
  • To the lamp of love: may in burn brightest in the darkest hours and never flicker in the winds of trial
  • A husband is like a fire, he goes out when unattended. (Evan Esar)
  • Love does not consist in gazing at each other, but in looking outward together in the same direction - Antoine de Saint-Exupery
  • Here’s to matrimony, the high sea for which no compass has yet been invented!
  • I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.” Rita Rudner.
  • May you live as long as you want, and never want as long as you live.
  • A happy man marries the girl he loves; a happier man loves the girl he marries. Anon

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Zulu jokes in English

You can also invest in a few homemade jokes. These ones are very close to everyone from the region and you can be sure they will be laughing their hearts out. If you want something that will bring tears to their eyes then this is it.

  • Marriage is like a walk in the park, but remember its Jurassic park.
  • Remember that your wife will never argue with you if you are cleaning
  • Keep it in mind that some men will always view marriage as a matter of wife and debt.
  • Marriage is when a man will lose his bachelors degree and the woman attains her masters degree.
  • Man has his will but woman has her way.
  • Marrying a man is like getting that thing you have admired on the shop window for a long time. You may like it when you get home but it is not necessarily true that it will go with everything else.
  • A husband who wants a happy home must learn how to keep his mouth shut and checkbook open.
  • Marriage is not about age, it's about finding the right person.
  • In every marriage that is at least one week old, there are grounds for divorce. The trick is to always find more grounds for marriage.

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Include a few wedding jokes to make your wedding spicey. Nothing beats a wedding with a jovial crowd and happy, bubbly couples. A few simple jokes are all you need to get this done.


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Source: Briefly News

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